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Public celebrations such as national days etc are held in most countries which is expensive so govt. should not spend money on it and on more useful things. Do you agree or disagree?

Public celebrations such as national days etc are held in most countries which is expensive so govt. should not spend money on it and on more useful things. KGwX1
Undoubtedly, national events hold cultural and historical significance and hence celebrating them lavishly is justified. However, I vehemently reckon that money spent on them is more than required and can certainly be used on other essential sector such as education and infrastructure. Over the past few decades, authorities have spent hefty amount of money on festivals and national days through parades, concerts or air shows, and ignoring the nation’s vulnerable condition. On the one hand, these events depict the prosperity of nation, but on the other hand also portray the negligence of authorities towards their country and its people. Here are several other things that should be looked after. For instance, the education system which improves the literacy rate of any country, eventually enhancing the future though inventions and technological advancements. Similarly, the development of roads and buildings portrays a significant advancement in the infrastructure sector. Moreover, countering the economic condition needs more intellectual concentration as it can only be ameliorate by monitoring investment and employment, for instance, creating job opportunities for the under-privileged group, minority-based educational support. Although, the national events are of great significance, these areas should be monitored first. Additionally, holidays can be celebrated on a small scale in order to respect the tradition. To summarize, democracy was instigated to serve and preserve the rights of people; therefore countries should prioritize its citizen’s growth and development more than on national holidays or occasions. Alternatively, a sophisticated yet lively celebration can be encouraged.
Undoubtedly
,
national
events
hold cultural and historical significance and
hence
celebrating them
lavishly
is justified
.
However
, I
vehemently
reckon that money spent on them is more than required and can
certainly
be
used
on other essential sector such as education and infrastructure.

Over the past few decades, authorities have spent hefty amount of money on festivals and
national
days through parades, concerts or air
shows
, and ignoring the nation’s vulnerable condition. On the one hand, these
events
depict the prosperity of nation,
but
on the other hand
also
portray the negligence of authorities towards their country and its
people
. Here are several other things that should
be looked
after.
For instance
, the education system which
improves
the literacy rate of any country,
eventually
enhancing the future though inventions and technological advancements.
Similarly
, the development of roads and buildings portrays a significant advancement in the infrastructure sector.

Moreover
, countering the economic condition needs more intellectual concentration as it can
only
be
ameliorate
by monitoring investment and employment,
for instance
, creating job opportunities for the under-privileged group, minority-based educational support. Although, the
national
events
are of great significance, these areas should
be monitored
first
.
Additionally
, holidays can
be celebrated
on a
small
scale in order to respect the tradition.

To summarize
, democracy
was instigated
to serve and preserve the rights of
people
;
therefore
countries should prioritize its citizen’s growth and development more than on
national
holidays or occasions.
Alternatively
, a sophisticated
yet
lively celebration can
be encouraged
.
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IELTS essay Public celebrations such as national days etc are held in most countries which is expensive so govt. should not spend money on it and on more useful things.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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