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Should Mahidol have fast food outlets like Mcdonal or Burger King on campus

Should Mahidol have fast food outlets like Mcdonal or Burger King on campus 8g5pr
There are three two reasons why Mahidol should have junk food restaurants same as Mcdonalds and Burger King on colleage. Firstly, it is convenient for pupils. To clarify, some of them cannot have much time deciding to eat a big meals because they have to manage their time for join classroom. For instance, on campus it is necessary to be on time, so it mean they not not have a lot of time for spend on lunch time. Moreover, students must eating fast as fast that they can. Hence, having fast food store it is very useful for students to choose food for quickly to eat. In addition, students are also able to have a part time job in the way that they working on thoses store. To explain, it is very beneficial for adolescent that can make income when they have free time. For example, some of them are not have much money, so working on this part time can help them recieved it. Therefore, part time job will help them to create money to spend for personal cost. In conclusion, fast food outlets are vey helpful for all of students because they can save their time and can establish some income.
There are three two reasons why
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mahidol
should have junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurants same as
Did you mean the fast food chain "McDonald's" (always spelled with a possessive apostrophe)?
Mcdonalds
and Burger King on
Possible spelling mistake found.
colleage
.
Firstly
, it is convenient for pupils. To clarify,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them cannot have much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
deciding to eat a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "meal"?
meals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
classroom.
For instance
, on campus it is necessary to be on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
Did you mean "means"?
mean
they
Double negatives are discouraged in standard English. Can you reformulate this phrase or is a comma missing?
not not
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for spend on lunch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
that they can.
Hence
, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
store it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for
quickly
to eat.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
also
able to have a part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
job in the way that
Did you mean "they're working", "they are working", or "they were working"?
they working
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
thoses
store. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for adolescent that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
income when they have free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are not
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
much money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
working on this part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieved
it.
Therefore
, part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
job will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to create money to spend for personal cost.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
outlets are
Possible spelling mistake found.
vey
helpful for all of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and can establish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
income.

IELTS essay Should Mahidol have fast food outlets like Mcdonal or Burger King on campus

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
203 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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