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public administration should enter medical care that avert disease instead of treatment

public administration should enter medical care that avert disease instead of treatment al5Nw
Healthcare – is the vital sector that provides for the medical needs of citizens. Therefore, public administration should enter medical care that avert disease instead of treatment. I totally agree with this opinion, since it is effective in the terms of both health and finances. This essay will suggest specific examples of precedence of avoidance over cure. The reason is that prevention is a reliable method of cure. As medical examinations help to identify the disease at an early stage or predisposition to it, physicians get opportunity to choose the optimal path of therapy and prescribe a set of preventive measures. For instance, University of Yale have conducted a research and found that 67% of fatal diseases could be avoided by annual diagnostics rather than dealing with it. Another important point is that it could not be excessively expensive, like the treatment of illness, whereas even if doctors find a cure and a method of treatment, it does not mean 100% of guarantee that physiology might be recovered fully. To illustrate, free medicaments for individuals with health problems such as chronic conditions, cancer, dementia, hypertonia, diabetics could be replaced with annual screenings by diligent share of budget. In conclusion, government should pay more attention to check-ups to get advantage in health of general population and sentient expenditure of national capital. (219)
Healthcare
is the vital sector that provides for the medical needs of citizens.
Therefore
, public administration should enter medical care that avert disease
instead
of treatment. I
totally
agree
with this opinion, since it is effective in the terms of both health and finances. This essay will suggest specific examples of precedence of avoidance over cure.

The reason is that prevention is a reliable method of cure. As medical examinations
help
to identify the disease at an early stage or predisposition to it, physicians
get
opportunity to choose the optimal path of therapy and prescribe a set of preventive measures.
For instance
, University of Yale have conducted a research and found that 67% of fatal diseases could
be avoided
by annual diagnostics
rather
than dealing with it.

Another
important
point is that it could not be
excessively
expensive, like the treatment of illness, whereas even if doctors find a cure and a method of treatment, it does not mean 100% of guarantee that physiology might
be recovered
fully
. To illustrate, free
medicaments
for individuals with health problems such as chronic conditions, cancer, dementia,
hypertonia
, diabetics could
be replaced
with annual screenings by diligent share of budget.

In conclusion
,
government
should pay more attention to
check
-ups to
get
advantage in health of general population and sentient expenditure of national capital. (219)
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IELTS essay public administration should enter medical care that avert disease instead of treatment

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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