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Psychological illnesses may not be as obvious as physical disabilities or illnesses. Nevertheless they are just as disabling in their own ways. Society, however, is more accepting of those with physical than psychological illnesses or disabilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Psychological illnesses may not be as obvious as physical disabilities or illnesses. Nevertheless they are just as disabling in their own ways. Society, however, is more accepting of those with physical than psychological illnesses or disabilities. v. 1
Physical disabilities have given more importance than mental illnesses. Although there are several disabilities in the community, physically disabled people have more privileged than mentally disorders. However, I agree with the given statement to a larger extent and the reasons for will be elaborated in the enlisted paragraphs. To begin with, psychological problems are growing in many societies. This is mainly because of personal as well as professional conflict, which create problems like anxiety and depression. Furthermore, in the most of societies people give importance to the mental disorders, due to hectic lifestyle. According to the recent survey has been conducted by the World Psychological Association reveals that the number patients in the United States of America increased from 35% to 68% in the last three decades. The specific reasons for this, work load and unbalanced life in which people suffer from it. Thus, this problem is tackle by proper treatment and it is not neglected. Paradoxically, physical illnesses are largely accepted in communities. This practical reason for this, a person who have disabilities can easily identical from their body in which they get help from others. Moreover, they are unable to complete their task or work, so they are majorly depends their family. For instance, a blind person requires assistant for road crossing or climbing stairs, therefore physical disorder must need help to combat against this issue. Another aspect of this is available treatments for physical problems and reservation system. To explain in details, there are different therapeutic services for disabilities, which solve the problem to a large extent. Along with this, the government has allocated reservation system for physical disabled people in which they have rights for their reservation. A classical example for this in each railway coach has reservation department for those people for their comfort. Hence, disable people can be identified and they have reservation kota. In conclusion, it is truly said that physical disorders are largely accepted in the society in comparison to psychological. Nonetheless, I agree to a larger proportion, the reasons like it is tangible and the authorities have reservation for them, but mental health is a concern issue for many people for the sustainable future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disabilities
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more importance than mental illnesses. Although there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disabilities
in the community,
physically
disabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more privileged than mentally disorders.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement to a larger extent and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for will
be elaborated
in the enlisted paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, psychological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are growing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
societies. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of personal
as well
as professional conflict, which create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like anxiety and depression.
Furthermore
, in the
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the societies") or simply say "most societies".
most of societies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give importance to the mental disorders, due to hectic lifestyle. According to the recent survey has
been conducted
by the World Psychological Association reveals that the number patients in the United States of America increased from 35% to 68% in the last three decades. The specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for this, work load and unbalanced life in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from it.
Thus
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is tackle by proper treatment and it is not neglected.

Paradoxically
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
illnesses are
largely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
in communities. This practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for this, a person who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disabilities
can
easily
identical from their body in which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from others.
Moreover
, they are unable to complete their task or work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are
majorly
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depends on".
depends
their family.
For instance
, a blind person requires assistant for road crossing or climbing stairs,
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
disorder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to combat against this issue. Another aspect of this is available treatments for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reservation
system. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
therapeutic services for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disabilities
, which solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
to a large extent. Along with this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has allocated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reservation
system for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
disabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in which they have rights for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reservation
. A classical example for this in each railway coach has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reservation
department for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for their comfort.
Hence
, disable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
identified and
they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reservation
Possible spelling mistake found.
kota
.

In conclusion
, it is
truly
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
disorders are
largely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
in the society
in comparison
to psychological. Nonetheless, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to a larger proportion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
like it is tangible and the authorities have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reservation
for them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
mental health is a concern issue for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for the sustainable future.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Psychological illnesses may not be as obvious as physical disabilities or illnesses. Nevertheless they are just as disabling in their own ways. Society, however, is more accepting of those with physical than psychological illnesses or disabilities. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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