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Providing job opportunities to the poor is better than giving them donations (e.g. in the form of money, food, clothes, etc.).

Providing job opportunities to the poor is better than giving them donations (e. g. in the form of money, food, clothes, etc. ). Jkbe
The world we are living in right now is full of evil intentions and biased life. The poor today are not the definition of giving and donating. Some of them are not looking for donations but they are actually the unlucky ones. They might have been scammed and betrayed which led them to losing their purpose of life. In my opinion, I strongly agree that providing job opportunities to the poor is better than giving them donations due to two reasons which are developing a trusting person and building their confidence. To start off, providing job opportunities to the poor can develop a trusting person. How? Some of the poor people are actually educated and very smart but because of the evil humanity, they were backstabbed and thus, they lost everything. This is why we should give another opportunity for them to rise and be more cautious with the people around them. To illustrate, the man who is given the opportunity should start with a small circle with trusting friends. The reason for this is to prevent any backstabbing, betrayals and fights between them. By starting with this step, the poor can slowly build their trust. Hence, is it true that providing job opportunities to the poor develops a trusting person. Furthemore, building their confidence is also a way that can be proven by providing them job opportunities. The poor are most likely to lose all their confidence due to the failure and mislead of being a successful person. Some may have gone through a lot of tough decisions which will lose nothing or even everything. In the worst scenario, one wrong step will make them lose everything. The reason why we should give them a job opportunity is so that they can reflect their wrongdoings and learn from the mistakes. For instance, as they are given the opportunity, they would use it wisely so that they will not make the same mistake again. By that, they will have more flexibility and confidence due to their sufficient experiences of the job. Therefore, it is clear that providing job opportunities to the poor rather than giving donations can build up their confidence. To conclude, developing a trusting person and building up their confidence proves that providing job opportunities to them is better than giving donations because feeding them will not end poverty. It is encouraged for people to take in the poor even if it starts with baby steps because they can change the future by becoming a successful person.
The world we are living in right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is full of evil intentions and biased life. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are not the definition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
and donating.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them are not looking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are actually the unlucky ones. They might have
been scammed
and betrayed which led them to losing their purpose of life. In my opinion, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
is better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donations
due to two reasons which are developing a trusting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and building their confidence.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
off, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
can develop a trusting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. How?
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are actually educated and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
smart
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the evil humanity, they were
Possible spelling mistake found.
backstabbed
and
thus
, they lost everything. This is why we should give another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
for them to rise and be more cautious with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around them. To illustrate, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
circle with trusting friends.
The reason for this is
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
any backstabbing, betrayals and fights between them. By starting with this step, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
can
slowly
build their trust.
Hence
, is it true that providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
develops a trusting person.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Furthemore
, building their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
confidence
is
also
a way that can
be proven
by providing them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
are most likely to lose all their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
confidence
due to the failure and mislead of being a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may have gone through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
tough decisions which will lose nothing or even everything. In the worst scenario, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
step will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them lose everything. The reason why we should give them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can reflect their wrongdoings and learn from the mistakes.
For instance
, as they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
wisely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the same mistake again. By that, they will have more flexibility and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
confidence
due to their sufficient experiences of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donations
can build up their confidence.

To conclude
, developing a trusting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and building up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
confidence
proves that providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
to them is better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
feeding them will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
poverty. It
is encouraged
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to take in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
even if it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with baby steps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the future by becoming a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
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IELTS essay Providing job opportunities to the poor is better than giving them donations (e. g. in the form of money, food, clothes, etc. ).

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
419 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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