Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Write at least 250 words.

It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. 9nNw
The environment often determined as factors that influenced the children's upbringing. This is due to the time spent of childrens is more with friends and surfing the internet. Nonetheless, another perspective which this essay believed that the family take the most part since they are the closest to children. In the one side, some people agree that the development of children are most affected by the environment. This is to say, many children spend most of their time along with their buddies and by keeping up-to-dated with many trends that came from media. Subsequently, they always try to follow what they usually experienced. This statement is strengthen by a study in Europe that said 6 out of 10 children were showed the significant life style changed after adapted the trends. As a result, they became addicted to trend and afraid for missing out of new informations. On the other side which this essay agree with, parents are the most closest to children and can make them to keep on the positive track. Moreover, the negative culture that came from external factors can be filtered by giving eye to eye conversations. For instance, there is a study in Asian countries that said 75% of children behavior issue such as talking a curse word and using sexy clothes in public can be tackle by their parents. In the future, the children would have such a good character. In conclusion, although the environment can influence children's upbringing, this essay believe that the parents as the closest person to them can easily control the issue and keep the children's up bringing to be positive.
The environment
often
determined as factors that influenced the children's upbringing. This is due to the time spent of
childrens
is more with friends and surfing the internet. Nonetheless, another perspective which this essay believed that the family take the most part since they are the closest to children.

In the one side,
some
people
agree
that the development of
children
are most
affected
by the environment. This is to say,
many
children
spend most of their time along with their buddies and by keeping up-to-dated with
many
trends that came from media.
Subsequently
, they always try to follow what they
usually
experienced. This statement is
strengthen
by a study in Europe that said 6 out of 10
children
were
showed
the significant life style
changed
after adapted the trends.
As a result
, they became addicted to trend and afraid for missing out of new
informations
.

On the other side which this essay
agree
with, parents are the
most closest
to
children
and can
make
them to
keep
on the
positive
track
.
Moreover
, the
negative
culture that came from external factors can
be filtered
by giving eye to eye conversations.
For instance
, there is a study in Asian countries that said 75% of
children
behavior issue such as talking a curse word and using sexy clothes in public can be tackle by their parents. In the future, the
children
would have such a
good
character.

In conclusion
, although the environment can influence children's upbringing,
this essay believe
that the parents as the closest person to them can
easily
control the issue and
keep
the children's up bringing to be
positive
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts