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Proposal for university funds on how they should be spent

Proposal for university funds on how they should be spent Ep57r
INTRODUCTION The purpose of this proposal is to give some advice and suggestions on how these funds should be invested in order to support and help students during their career at university. STUDENTS’ NEEDS Opinions are divided regarding students’ needs, but the majority of them stated that the university would incredibly benefit from new areas for students. In fact, when studying at university all the facilities should be nearby. Firstly, a new cafeteria would be required and incredibly useful not only for students and teachers but also it could give the possibility to make some money within the university. Another strong point to consider is the social areas such as meeting place or study rooms where students can easily relax, take a break but also study. SUGGESTIONS One suggestion would be to open a new cafeteria where students can have a coffee break and also have a quick and healthy meal, suitable for everyone. Another strong recommendation would be a study area, a place where everyone can study with their colleagues without the necessity of going to the library, as there it is forbidden to talk. Moreover, this would enable people to remain at university all day long and take advantage of being in contact with other students. CONCLUSIONS Should my recommendations outlined in this email be carried out, I have no doubt that students will benefit from them and also it will be an essential investment for the future of our university.
INTRODUCTION

The purpose of this proposal is to give
some
advice and suggestions on how these funds should
be invested
in order to support and
help
students
during their career at university.

STUDENTS’ NEEDS

Opinions
are divided
regarding
students’
needs,
but
the majority of them stated that the
university
would
incredibly
benefit from new areas for
students
. In fact, when studying at
university
all the facilities should be nearby.
Firstly
, a new cafeteria would
be required
and
incredibly
useful not
only
for
students
and teachers
but
also
it could give the possibility to
make
some
money within the
university
. Another strong point to consider is the social areas such as meeting place or study rooms where
students
can
easily
relax, take a break
but
also
study.

SUGGESTIONS

One suggestion would be to open a new cafeteria where
students
can have a coffee break and
also
have a quick and healthy meal, suitable for everyone. Another strong recommendation would be a study area, a place where everyone can study with their colleagues without the necessity of going to the library, as there it
is forbidden
to talk.
Moreover
, this would enable
people
to remain at
university
all day long and take advantage of being in contact with other students.

CONCLUSIONS

Should my recommendations outlined in this email
be carried
out, I have no doubt that
students
will benefit from them and
also
it will be an essential investment for the future of our
university
.
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IELTS essay Proposal for university funds on how they should be spent

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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