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proportion of juvenile criminals surge exponentially

proportion of juvenile criminals surge exponentially N8wLW
It is undeniable that proportion of juvenile criminals surge exponentially in most countries across the world. There are several causes of this alarming phenomenon, but a variety of actions could be certainly taken to tackle this issue. There are two main reasons why numerous adolescents have propensity for getting involved in illegal activities. The first factor is disadvantaged family environment such as single-parent, dysfunctional and violent families. The young, those was born and grew up in these situation, may be easily led astray. The second reason worth pointing out is commercialized mass media which the majority of kids can gain access thanks to computers and cellphone. The videos, advertisements, documents on Internet are besieged with an overflow of information on pornography, violent crime that can seriously corrupt the young’s innocent mind as well as arouse their violent impulse. There are a large number of solutions for government and their family could take to solve this problem described above. In term of parents, they should take responsibility for educating about the danger of committing crime as well as guiding their children to abide the law, among which avoiding using illegal drug, burglar is a typical example. From national authority’s perspective, government can enact the relevant legislation to strengthen the censorship of social media. They may penalize on the websites, which disseminate vulgar or bloody cruel, to stay away toxic contents from the youth generation. In addition, stricter punishment should be imposed such as prolonging the imprisonment for the children have no morality. In conclusion, while there are several evident reasons that bring about this phenomenon, I believe that the great effort from parents as well as government could reserve the situation.
It is undeniable that proportion of juvenile criminals surge
exponentially
in most countries across the world. There are several causes of this alarming phenomenon,
but
a variety of actions could be
certainly
taken to tackle this issue.

There are two main reasons why numerous adolescents have propensity for getting involved in illegal activities. The
first
factor
is disadvantaged
family environment such as single-parent, dysfunctional and violent families. The young, those
was born
and grew up in
these situation
, may be
easily
led astray.
The
second reason worth pointing out
is commercialized
mass media which the majority of kids can gain access thanks to computers and cellphone.
The
videos, advertisements,
documents
on Internet
are besieged
with an overflow of information on pornography, violent crime that can
seriously
corrupt the young’s innocent mind
as well
as arouse their violent impulse.

There are
a large number of
solutions for
government
and their family could take to solve this problem
described
above. In term of parents, they should take responsibility for educating about the
danger
of committing crime
as well
as guiding their children to abide the law, among which avoiding using illegal drug, burglar is a typical example. From national authority’s perspective,
government
can enact the relevant legislation to strengthen the censorship of social media. They may penalize on the websites, which disseminate vulgar or bloody cruel, to stay away toxic contents from the youth generation.
In addition
, stricter punishment should
be imposed
such as prolonging the imprisonment for the children have no morality.

In conclusion
, while there are several evident reasons that bring about this phenomenon, I believe that the great effort from parents
as well
as
government
could reserve the situation.
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IELTS essay proportion of juvenile criminals surge exponentially

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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