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Promotions to higher levels should be from within a company and not to hire from outside. Do you agree or Disagree v.1

Promotions to higher levels should be from within a company and not to hire from outside. v. 1
The process of filling up higher posts in the organisation is a topic of debate. The above statement has favoured the promotions to higher levels from internal human resources over hiring new employees from outside the firm. However, in my opinion, a firm should not rely entirely on existing employees to fill up vacant positions but also hire employees from outside. There is no doubt that promoting employees to upper levels in the organisational hierarchy has numerous benefits. To begin with, an existing employee already knows the rules, regulations and working culture of the company, so he/she does not need any orientation training. Thus saves two important organisational resources, time and money. Moreover, when an existing employee is promoted to the higher supervisory level, he/she understands the capabilities of their subordinates and can motivate them to give better results. Apart from them, if a person from existing manpower is chosen to fill up the vacancy at a higher post, then the rest of the internal manpower also feels motivated because that their hard work and dedication will also be appreciated by the management. But, higher positions can not solely be filled up via promotions. Lack of the suitable person is the main reason my organisations resort to hire a new employee at a higher post. Although recruiting a new person for a management position is a very difficult, time consuming and costly process, still is has many benefits which outweigh these difficulties. For example: Selecting a new employee gives the company an opportunity to choose from the huge pool of eligible persons and this new person will bring the new experience and fresh mind in the existing working culture. To sum up, I would like to reiterate my opinion that a company should not be rigid in its policy to fill the higher posts from internal resources only. If the suitable person is not available from within, then it should not hesitate to hire a new person from outside.
The process of filling up higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
posts
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
is a topic of debate. The above statement has
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
the promotions to higher levels from internal human resources over hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
from outside the firm.
However
, in my opinion, a firm should not rely
entirely
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to fill up vacant positions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
from outside.

There is no doubt that promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to upper levels in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisational' is British English.
organisational
hierarchy has numerous benefits. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
already knows the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, regulations and working culture of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he/she does not need any orientation training.
Thus
saves two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisational' is British English.
organisational
resources, time and money.
Moreover
, when an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is promoted
to the higher supervisory level, he/she understands the capabilities of their subordinates and can motivate them to give better results. Apart from them, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
manpower
is chosen
to fill up the vacancy at a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
post
, then the rest of the internal manpower
also
feels motivated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and dedication will
also
be appreciated
by the management.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, higher positions can not
solely
be filled
up via promotions. Lack of the suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is the main reason my
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
resort to hire a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
at a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
post
. Although recruiting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
for a management position is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
and costly process,
still
is has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits which outweigh these difficulties.
For example
: Selecting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
gives the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
an opportunity to choose from the huge pool of eligible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
will bring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experience and fresh mind in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
working culture.

To sum up, I would like to reiterate my opinion that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
should not be rigid in its policy to fill the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
posts
from internal resources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. If the suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is not available from within, then it should not hesitate to hire a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
from outside.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Promotions to higher levels should be from within a company and not to hire from outside. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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