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Promoting Gender Equality at Work

Promoting Gender Equality at Work YLVRn
Gender equality has always been an inseparable discussion of society nowadays. Many consider that gender equality is necessary for progress to be made in the ever-developing society. Many also consider that gender equality is not one of the most significant issues in society nowadays. Despite the current debate, gender equality directly impacts our life, especially our professional life. Women will most likely obtain lower pay than that of men, as women are naturally considered as vulnerable and compliant individuals. Whereas men are considered as creative and strong individuals. Thus, women always obtain lower pay despite their skills and their competences that are sometimes better than those of men. This fact is common in society nowadays whether they live in a developed or developing country around the world. In fact, gender equality is an inseparable issue when discussing about professional life at work. Truth to be told, working should be an experience that cannot be fundamentally judged based on gender of an individual. Working should be an experience in which every individual is required to contribute to the society or to their workplace based on their skills and their competences without having to know whether they are women or men. Men and women should make people aware that gender equality does not mean that women gain absolute power over men or vice versa. It is rather a condition in which we can grow awareness of men and women working together regardless of their sex or gender. It is rather a required condition to meet to create a more powerful society in which no one is left behind. The real solution to this current problem is that the government has to give equal opportunities to men and women in education. Despite the fact that we live in the modern age, education inequality is still the main problem. This kind of inequality results in an unbalanced condition among individuals in one country especially in the developing countries, whereas women are perceived as the second-class individuals that are only allowed to work at home. This contributes to the fact that women are severely uneducated. The government should try to raise social awareness that women should be allowed to improve themselves through education and that they have the same right with that of men. Men and women should learn to cooperate in order to create a magnificent contribution to the world or to themselves. Therefore, the author concludes that gender equality is one of the most vital issues in the professional world. Major part of society cannot comprehend the concept of gender equality which is sometimes perceived as one of the efforts by women to gain superiority over men. But the fact is that gender equality is a condition in which men and women regardless of their gender can cooperate and can benefit from their cooperation in order to improve themselves.
Gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equality
has always been an inseparable discussion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
consider that gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equality
is necessary for progress to
be made
in the ever-developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
also
consider that gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equality
is not one of the most significant issues in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
nowadays.

Despite the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
debate, gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equality
directly
impacts our life,
especially
our professional life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
will most likely obtain lower pay than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
naturally
considered as vulnerable and compliant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. Whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are considered
as creative and strong individuals.

Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
always obtain lower pay despite their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and their competences that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
better than those of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
is common in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
nowadays whether they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a developed or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
around the world. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
, gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equality
is an inseparable issue when
Did you mean simply "discussing professional"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discussing about professional
life at work. Truth to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
, working should be an experience that cannot be
fundamentally
judged based on gender of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
. Working should be an experience in which every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
is required
to contribute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
or to their workplace based on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and their competences without having to know whether they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aware that gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equality
does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
gain absolute power over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
or vice versa. It is
rather
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
in which we can grow awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
working together regardless of their sex or gender. It is
rather
a required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
to create a more powerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in which no one is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
behind.

The real solution to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
problem is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
give equal opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in education. Despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the modern age, education inequality is
still
the main problem. This kind of inequality results in an unbalanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
in one country
especially
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are perceived
as the second-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to work at home. This contributes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
severely
uneducated. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should try to raise social awareness that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves through education and that they have the same right with that of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should learn to cooperate in order to create a magnificent contribution to the world or to themselves.
Therefore
, the author concludes that gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equality
is one of the most vital issues in the professional world. Major part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
cannot comprehend the concept of gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equality
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
perceived as one of the efforts by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to gain superiority over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
is that gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equality
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
regardless of their gender can cooperate and can benefit from their cooperation in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves.
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IELTS essay Promoting Gender Equality at Work

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
476 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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