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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Professor should prohibit the use of devices that can connect to the internet in class.

First, time and money are the most critical factors in everyone's life. If students pay money to buy a lot of books and spend more time to study them till find what they want, they can buy the tablet and connect to the internet, just learn how to search, therefore in a short amount of time they can find whatever they want, and they browse through an ocean of information to solve any problems they face in a quick of time with less money.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money are the most critical factors in everyone's life. If students pay money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
books and spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to study them till find what they want, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the tablet and connect to the internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
learn how to search,
therefore
in a short amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they can find whatever they want, and they browse through an ocean of information to solve any problems they face in a quick of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with less money.
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IELTS essay Professor should prohibit the use of devices that can connect to the internet in class.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
84 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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