Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Advertisement is one of the marketing channels used by sellers to attract buyers, advertising main purpose is to inform buyers about their products and it can be in various forms like billboards, TV media, radio, newspaper, and the internet. Generally advertisements target certain group of people to buy the products, this group in marketing is called targeted segment, so not all ads are effective to all people in the same way. Advertising is like anything in the world, it has advantages and disadvantages. First let us talk about its advantages, sellers use this marketing channel in order to inform their customers with their products, so that they can increase their profits, on the other hand for buyers or customers advertisement's advantages is to get information about products in the market that can help them in their lives or satisfy their needs. Advertising's disadvantages are so many, for example some ads may persuade certain category of people to buy their products, which they are in no need of them, these categories can be children where ads on toys, food and sweets, women where ads on clothes and other stuff as well, another disadvantage specially advertising on the world wide web is the usage of personal and private information of people on many websites including Facebook, twitter & Instagram, they use these information to personalize ads for each person. Finally advertising is a two edged sword, it gives people information on products that can help them in their lives, in other words make their lives easier, and it can persuade them psychologically to buy stuff they don't need.
Advertisement is one of the marketing channels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by sellers to attract buyers, advertising main purpose is to inform buyers about their
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
products and
it can be in various forms like billboards, TV media, radio, newspaper, and the internet.

Generally
advertisements target certain group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, this group in marketing
is called
targeted segment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
not all ads are effective to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the same way
.

Advertising is like anything in the world, it has advantages and disadvantages.

First
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us talk about its advantages, sellers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this marketing channel in order to inform their customers with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can increase their profits,
on the other hand
for buyers or customers advertisement's advantages is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in the market that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
or satisfy their needs.

Advertising's disadvantages are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
,
for example
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ads may persuade certain category of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, which they are in no need of them, these categories can be children where ads on toys, food and sweets, women where ads on clothes and other stuff
as well
, another disadvantage
specially
advertising on the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world wide web
is the usage of personal and private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
websites including Facebook,
Did you mean “Twitter” (= microblogging service, capitalized)?
twitter
& Instagram, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to personalize ads for each person.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
advertising is a
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
two edged
sword, it gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
in other words
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier, and it can persuade them
psychologically
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
stuff they don't need.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?