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Professional workers like doctors nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities To what extent do you agree or disagree v.5

Professional workers like doctors nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities v. 5
Wedding ceremonies are seasonal that normally happen in spring and winter seasons across the world. I totally agree with this statement that it is very absurd to tie knot before completing studies and obtaining a good job. Although marrying before completing studies brings happiness, but it creates a lot of problems for all either he is wealthy person or dependant one. Many students even cannot focus on their studies due to the number of factors like difficulty level of technical courses, delivering methodologies of teachers, distractions and other extra events happening in university. Hence; therefore, considering such permanent problems student shall study rather than struggling for happiness. Additionally, marrying while studying makes you financially poor unless your partner is wealthy or independent in terms of job or any kind of income. At this stage often many students cannot even bear their own living expenses. Having a life partner will put the pressure upon them not only financially but maybe psychologically. For example, if someone does not have enough fund for him as well as his life partner he may be in trouble. So marrying while studying is big trouble for the student in terms of finance as well as other health. In conclusion, while marrying before completing studies brings unseen problems like financial trouble, other health problems. Therefore, one can only marry after completing a study and obtaining a good place in fine working company or firm.
Wedding ceremonies are seasonal that
normally
happen in spring and winter seasons across the world. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
absurd to
Did you mean the negation "tie not"?
tie knot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
completing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and obtaining a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marrying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
completing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
brings happiness,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for all either he
Please check whether an article is missing: "is a wealthy" or "is an wealthy"
is wealthy
person or
Possible spelling mistake found.
dependant
one.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
even cannot focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
due to the number of factors like difficulty level of technical courses, delivering methodologies of teachers, distractions and other extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
happening in university.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
;
therefore
, considering such permanent
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "problems'" or "problem's"?
problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
shall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
rather
than struggling for happiness.

Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marrying
while studying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you
financially
poor unless your partner is wealthy or independent in terms of job or any kind of income. At this stage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
cannot even bear their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
living expenses. Having a life partner will put the pressure upon them not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
financially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
maybe
psychologically
.
For example
, if someone does not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
fund for him
as well
as his life partner he may be in trouble.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marrying
while studying is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
trouble for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in terms of finance
as well
as other health.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marrying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
completing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
brings unseen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like financial trouble, other health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Therefore
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
marry after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
completing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and obtaining a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
place in fine working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or firm.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Professional workers like doctors nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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