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Profession of teachers is becoming less popular among adults. Why? How government should attract more adults.

Profession of teachers is becoming less popular among adults. Why? How government should attract more adults. 7Jy56
Nowadays profession of teachers is becoming less popular among adults. So this lead to shortage (deficit, lack) of teachers. Especially we can see the schools which need proficient in math, physics, chemistry, biology and history. There are some reasons why people don’t prefer this job. First of all I should say it is a demanding job, as you are responsible for the children. If there were accident a teacher might be blamed. This case makes avoid of the job. Because some people afraid of being responsible. Moreover teachers should come to an understanding of the students and be ready to their caprices. How a men should be tolerant if sometimes behavior of your own child may be a problem. In spite of these difficulties the salary is not good enough. Another reason is too much writing works. We know every teacher should have some documents, make notes for each lesson and other things. It complicates teacher’s work. It seems to have another job easier than be a teacher. But if there is good salary more and more people may want to work. Also inculcating new methods of encourage attract young people. For example, you are good at your job you will be given gifts like house or car. The government should institute medals “The best teacher” for professional and really good ones. A further holyday tickets will be appropriate thing for them because teachers spend a lot of energy during the work with students. This profession is really holy because the future of our children depend on the quality of study and a teacher’s knowledge. In my opinion teaching skills should be given by God. Even you have everything what is necessary to be a teacher, nothing makes you love your job. So I think we can attract young people if we will be able to implant the love of teaching.
Nowadays profession of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
is becoming less popular among adults.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this lead to shortage (deficit, lack) of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
Especially
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the schools which need proficient in math, physics, chemistry, biology and history.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t prefer this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
I should say it is a demanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, as you are responsible for the children.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
there were accident a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
might
be blamed
. This case
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
avoid of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
afraid of being responsible.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to an understanding of the students and be ready to their caprices. How a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
should be tolerant if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
behavior of your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
child may be a problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
these difficulties the salary is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. Another reason is too much writing works. We know every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
documents,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
notes for each lesson and other things. It complicates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. It seems to have another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
easier than be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
salary more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Also
inculcating new methods of encourage attract young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, you are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
you will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
gifts like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or car. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should institute medals “The best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher”
for professional and
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
ones. A
further
Possible spelling mistake found.
holyday
tickets will be appropriate thing for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
energy during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with students.

This profession is
really
holy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the future of our children depend on the quality of study and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher’s
knowledge. In my opinion teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by God. Even you have everything what is necessary to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
, nothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we can attract young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
if we will be able to implant the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of teaching.
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IELTS essay Profession of teachers is becoming less popular among adults. Why? How government should attract more adults.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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