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Problem and solution of overpopulation

Problem and solution of overpopulation gxRJO
Many countries around the world are facing the rapid growth of the population of urban areas. This essay will discuss the major causes of overcrowding in large cities, including shortages of productive employment opportunities and air pollution. This essay will also propose solutions to these problems, including assigning additional funds to local businesses by the government and increased public transportation usage by individuals. People have been facing decreasing job options in large cities for years. In addition, they have been exposed to extremely hazardous air for ages in urban areas. People are dealing with these arduous situations because the government doesn't provide the rural areas with sufficient facilities including health and education services based on their needs which, usually leads to migration. For example, the peak of migration to cities happened after a slight population growth in rural areas. This reason causes not only overcrowding in cities but also their pollution-related problems. Increasing the allocated budget to the local businesses is critical to reducing the migration rate. Enhancing the job opportunities in smaller cities and rural areas induces uniform distribution employment. In addition, it causes the massive attention of the investors to these areas. Besides, crowds of large cities should focus on the significance of public transportation because it dramatically affects the air quality especially during the cold seasons. In conclusion, in today's fast paced world, the overcrowding is also unstoppable. This essay discussed the main problems cause by overpopulation which is unemployment and air pollution. This essay also suggested that resolving these problems depend on the prosperity of the rural area businesses and people attitudes toward public transportation usage.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries around the world are facing the rapid growth of the population of urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will discuss the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of overcrowding in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, including shortages of productive employment opportunities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will
also
propose solutions to these problems, including assigning additional funds to local businesses by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and increased public transportation usage by individuals.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have been facing decreasing job options in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for years.
In addition
, they have
been exposed
to
extremely
hazardous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
for ages in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are dealing with these arduous situations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
doesn't provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
with sufficient facilities including health and education services based on their needs which,
usually
leads to migration.
For example
, the peak of migration to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
happened after a slight population growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. This reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
overcrowding in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their pollution-related problems.

Increasing the allocated budget to the local businesses is critical to reducing the migration rate. Enhancing the job opportunities in smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
induces uniform distribution employment.
In addition
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
the massive attention of the investors to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Besides
, crowds of large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
should focus on the significance of public transportation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
dramatically
affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
quality
especially
during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
seasons.

In conclusion
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced world, the overcrowding is
also
unstoppable. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
discussed the main problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
by overpopulation which is unemployment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
also
suggested that resolving these problems depend on the prosperity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
businesses and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
attitudes toward public transportation usage.
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IELTS essay Problem and solution of overpopulation

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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