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Primary school teachers in Viet Nam have recently been required to assess students' work with comments rather than grades. While there are people believe this is a step forward, other remain skeptical. What is your opinion of the change?

Primary school teachers in Viet Nam have recently been required to assess students' work with comments rather than grades. While there are people believe this is a step forward, other remain skeptical. What is your opinion of the change? pbW5a
There has been reform in Vietnam’s education recently. It’s that primary students’ abilities are evaluated by remarks rather than scores. It arouses pressing questions about whether it’s an advancement or not. From my point of view, I hold with the idea that the improvement can do students good than traditional one to a certain extent for some reasons below. To commence with, it’s now crucial that students have access to practical knowledge rather than being a nerd. Traditionally, students are obsessed with grades because it will lead to the final results at the end of the school year whether it will be a successful year or not. To tell the truth, this method of studying is ineffective when they are always under pressure of cramming for exams. This reform has allowed students confidence, creativity, enthusiasm as school is no longer a competitive battle of flying colors but an environment where they can open up, express themselves, speak in public. These activities are the foundation for the future, it requires student to apply learned theories into real life. To illustrate, some students hold the opinion that advanced maths is not useful in the future despite technological development, we just need basic operations to get by. Also, it is worth noting that detailed remarks of teachers will enable students to reflect on themselves and keep on making progress. This change aims at promoting young people to make improvements instead of achieving high scores without understanding the basics. The way of bringing up this modification in primary school when students are at an early age will help them form sound learning styles. What’s more, this reform puts an end to wrongdoings in the process of teaching as well as students’ comparison psychology. Take the example of good students attached to the label of high scores, parents tend to show off their children’s school reports. Thanks to improvement, students know what their strengths and weaknesses for. To put it in a nutshell, education plays a paramount role in the development of one country. Our traditional classes are in serious need of change to catch up with the international era. Fortunately, educators have realized the importance of reform: the coming of teachers’ remarks rather than standard figures as a prominent example
There has been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reform
in Vietnam’s education recently. It’s that primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
abilities
are evaluated
by remarks
rather
than scores. It arouses pressing questions about whether it’s an advancement or not. From my point of view, I hold with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the improvement can do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Use "better" to make a comparison with this adjective.
good
than traditional one to a certain extent for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons below.

To commence with, it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
crucial that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have access to practical knowledge
rather
than being a nerd.
Traditionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are obsessed
with grades
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will lead to the final results at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
year whether it will be a successful year or not. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the truth, this method of studying is ineffective when they are always under pressure of cramming for exams. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reform
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
confidence, creativity, enthusiasm as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is no longer a competitive battle of flying colors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
an environment where they can open up, express themselves, speak in public. These activities are the foundation for the future, it requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to apply learned theories into real life. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
hold the opinion that advanced
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
is not useful in the future
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
despite


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
technological
development, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need basic operations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
by.

Also
, it is worth noting that detailed remarks of teachers will enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to reflect on themselves and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on making progress. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
aims at promoting young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
improvements
instead
of achieving high scores without understanding the basics. The way of bringing up this modification in primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are at an early age will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them form sound learning styles. What’s more, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reform
puts an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to wrongdoings in the process of teaching
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
comparison psychology. Take the example of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
attached to the label of high scores, parents tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off their children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
reports. Thanks to improvement,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
know what their strengths and weaknesses for.

To put it in a nutshell, education plays a paramount role in the development of one country. Our traditional classes are in serious need of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to catch up with the international era.
Fortunately
, educators have realized the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reform
: the coming of teachers’ remarks
rather
than standard figures as a prominent example
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IELTS essay Primary school teachers in Viet Nam have recently been required to assess students' work with comments rather than grades. While there are people believe this is a step forward, other remain skeptical. What is your opinion of the change?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
375 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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