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The increasing use of modern drug technology encourages the treatment of symptoms instead of treating the causes.

The increasing use of modern drug technology encourages the treatment of symptoms instead of treating the causes. xPL21
Nowadays, people's addiction to modern drugs is increasing enormously. As everyone knows they do not heal the causes of illness but symptoms. I tend to agree with this statement and shall prove my perspective in the following paragraphs by giving several reasons. This is undoubtable fact that doctors use modernistic medicines only to cure signs of sickness. Anyhow, they are not even paying attention the causes. However, unless the cause of the disease is treated, it will not leave our body compleately, and in a day or two, when the effects of the drug are over, various sypmtoms will begin to appear again. Or it could combine with other viruses to cause another diseases. Advanced medicaments have high effectiveness against evidences, and those medications are made with high-technology to reduce side effects. There is also an increase in the amount of drug produced and advertised due to the business strategy of various pharmaceutical companies. This phenomenon has indirectpy bumped up remedies consumption, as the price of medicines are more affordable. It leads to conclude that, poeple are unlikely to notice the need of considering illness causes while the sickness itself could be treated conveniently by using medicine
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's addiction to modern drugs is increasing
enormously
. As everyone knows they do not heal the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of illness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
symptoms. I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and shall prove my perspective in the following paragraphs by giving several reasons.

This is
Possible spelling mistake found.
undoubtable
fact that doctors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
modernistic medicines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to cure signs of sickness. Anyhow, they are not even paying attention the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
.
However
, unless the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of the disease
is treated
, it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
our body
Possible spelling mistake found.
compleately
, and in a day or two, when the effects of the drug are over, various
Possible spelling mistake found.
sypmtoms
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to appear again. Or it could combine with other viruses to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
another diseases.

Advanced
Possible spelling mistake found.
medicaments
have high effectiveness against evidences, and those medications
are made
with high-technology to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
side effects. There is
also
an increase in the amount of drug produced and advertised due to the business strategy of various pharmaceutical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. This phenomenon has
Possible spelling mistake found.
indirectpy
bumped up remedies consumption, as the price of medicines are more affordable.

It leads
to conclude
that,
Possible spelling mistake found.
poeple
are unlikely to notice the need of considering illness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
while the sickness itself could
be treated
conveniently
by using medicine

IELTS essay The increasing use of modern drug technology encourages the treatment of symptoms instead of treating the causes.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
196 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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