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Prevention is better than cure.Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on heath education and preventative measures

Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on heath education and preventative measures B6ej
In this world, many people are dying from various types of health related problems due to the lacking of appropriate health education and preventative actions. That is why a government should expend a huge amount of money from health budget for cure-related education as well preventative measures. It is agrees that this policy has a great number of benefits and this will be proven by analysing economical point of view of a country and the health aspects of people. To begin with, it is undeniable to say that a scarcity of health treatment itself is reaching its peak around people in the century we live today. For this reason, it is realised that to prevent this trend is considered to be of significant controversy. One the one hand, many regimes spend an enormous amount of money in order to treat their people who are suffering from different types of serious diseases. This extravagence can be easily diminished when state commences of healthcare educational system by spending money to health teaching system. As an example, if the administration perceives their slums that smoking, drinking and so on, are bad things for human body through this educational program, many people will not attacked by the severe sickness. This could save a large amount of money of the state. Secondly, many governments should fight against several kinds of diseases, especially diabetes and the heart diseases. Before these health problems assault the people, it can be ceased by taking some preventative measures. For example, exercise, sports, entertainment can decrease the chances to become these patients. This can be achieved by investing money in preventative measures from health budget. To conclude, this idea is indispensable not only to the people but also to the governments. However, the tremendous amenities of this policy fortify my argument. Therefore, a government should spend money for health education and preventative measures from health budget.
In this world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are dying from various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related problems due to the lacking of appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
education and preventative actions.
That is
why a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should expend a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
budget for cure-related education
as well
preventative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that this policy has a great number of benefits and this will
be proven
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
economical point of view of a country and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is undeniable to say that a scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
treatment itself is reaching its peak around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the century we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
For this reason
, it is
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this trend
is considered
to be of significant controversy.
Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
regimes spend an enormous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in order to treat their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are suffering from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of serious diseases. This
Possible spelling mistake found.
extravagence
can be
easily
diminished when state commences of healthcare educational system by spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
teaching system. As an example, if the administration perceives their slums that smoking, drinking and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things for human body through this educational program,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not
The verb 'will' requires base form of the verb: "attack"
attacked
by the severe sickness. This could save a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
of the state.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should fight against several kinds of diseases,
especially
diabetes and the heart diseases.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems assault the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it can
be ceased
by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
preventative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
.
For example
, exercise, sports, entertainment can decrease the chances to become these patients. This can
be achieved
by investing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in preventative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
budget.
To conclude
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is indispensable not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
.
However
, the tremendous amenities of this policy fortify my argument.
Therefore
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
education and preventative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
budget.
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IELTS essay Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on heath education and preventative measures

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
315 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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