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Preventing is better than cure. To what extent do you agree

Preventing is better than cure. To what extent do you agree 6NdkK
Researching for a cure and treatment of existing illnesses can be very time and money-consuming. Therefore, it is better to focus on actions that prevent people from obtaining a disease. I completely agree that this is the best way to improve public health at a lower human cost. First of all, many diseases cannot be cured, especially in the last stages of an illness. Therefore, the best way to save a person’s life is to prevent a disease from appearing or stop its mutation and development in the human body. Research can be done regarding the measures to find the cause of illnesses and reveal the genetic diseases. This will help to tackle the issue in the early stages. For instance, cancer is a disease that cannot be cured at the moment, even though big sums of money are spent to find a solution to this problem. I think it is better to introduce measures to find a person’s predisposition to the disease before it becomes incurable. Moreover, most of the disease weaken and change human body even if a particular illness is cured. A serious illness can result in damages to different organs which cannot be returned to their initial state. This can lead to the appearance of other issues and result in poor health or early death. However, preventing the spread of a disease can save people from these consequences. The most recent example is COVID-19 that doesn’t have a particular cure and cannot always be cured in the late stages, especially when it attacks people in older ages. Moreover, the illness can often mutate and lead to different lung and heart issues. Therefore, understanding how to prevent (the) sickness can save people. In conclusion, the prevention of diseases is the easiest and most effective method to improve the health of people with the least consequences.
Researching for a cure and treatment of existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illnesses
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
time and money-consuming.
Therefore
, it is better to focus on actions that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from obtaining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
public health at a lower human cost.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
cannot be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cured
,
especially
in the last stages of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
.
Therefore
, the best way to save a person’s life is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
from appearing or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
its mutation and development in the human body. Research can
be done
regarding the measures to find the cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illnesses
and reveal the genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to tackle the issue in the early stages.
For instance
, cancer is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
that cannot be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cured
at the moment,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
sums of money
are spent
to find a solution to this problem. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is better to introduce measures to find a person’s predisposition to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it becomes incurable.

Moreover
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
weaken and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
human body even if a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cured
. A serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
can result in damages to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
organs which cannot
be returned
to their initial state. This can lead to the appearance of other issues and result in poor health or early death.
However
, preventing the spread of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
can save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from these consequences. The most recent example is COVID-19 that doesn’t have a particular cure and cannot always be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cured
in the late stages,
especially
when it attacks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in older ages.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
mutate and lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
lung and heart issues.
Therefore
, understanding how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
(the) sickness can save
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, the prevention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
is the easiest and most effective method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with the least consequences.
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IELTS essay Preventing is better than cure. To what extent do you agree

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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