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Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. k3Ee
Nowadays, multiple careers are becoming a necessity for survival and good living standards. Inflation rates are becoming astronomical so people are forced to do two or more jobs. Moreover, it is always good to have two sources of earnings not only for income but also for learning different sets of skills and knowledge. First and foremost, modern world has evolved in such a manner that expenses are piling up in an enormous rate and citizens in all countries are forced to opt for more than one job. For instance, breadwinner of a house has to meet several needs of the household like food, education, transportation and medical emergencies. In order to meet these essentials they have to opt-in for couple of sources for income. Secondly, it is always better to have two profession it gives more security in terms of financial stability as well as a sense of protection. In addition, two types of work will equip a person more multi tasking and also helps to learn various skills and knowledge level. For example, people work one job as a full-time whereas other as a part-time to meet their needs. According to the comfort of a person on a long-term basis they can focus on a particular career. However, if an unpredictable market condition like a recession hits an economy a family can survive with a job even though earning member is laid off from another job. Having analysed various factors of the matter, it can be concluded that everyone should focus to have multiple career options at the same time in order to overcome unpredictable conditions which may occur in future. Therefore, in my point of view it is always better to be in the safe side by learning and acquiring knowledge required for multiple careers.
Nowadays, multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
are becoming a necessity for survival and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
living standards. Inflation rates are becoming astronomical
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are forced
to do two or more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Moreover
, it is always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to have two sources of earnings not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sets of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge.

First
and foremost, modern world has evolved in such a manner that expenses are piling up in an enormous

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
rate
and citizens in all countries
are forced
to opt for more than one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For instance
, breadwinner of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
several needs of the household like food, education, transportation and medical emergencies. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
these essentials they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
opt-in for
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
sources for income.

Secondly
, it is always better to have two
Possible agreement error. The noun 'profession' seems to be countable, so consider using: "professions".
profession
it gives more security in terms of financial stability
as well
as a sense of protection.
In addition
, two types of work will equip a person more multi tasking and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to learn various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge level.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
work one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as a full-time whereas other as a part-time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their needs. According to the comfort of a person on a long-term basis they can focus on a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
However
, if an unpredictable market condition like a recession hits an economy a family can survive with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
even though
earning member
is laid
off from another job.

Having
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
various factors of the matter, it can
be concluded
that everyone should focus to have multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
options at the same time in order to overcome unpredictable conditions which may occur
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
Therefore
, in my point of view it is always better to be in the safe side by learning and acquiring knowledge required for multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
.

IELTS essay Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.