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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? Q1n1
Hard work is considered one of the key components in making an individual’s dream possible. Persuading children that working hard will bring everything is quite common in some nations. This approach obviously motivates them and encourages them to pursue their dreams. However, it also has potential negative aspects. On the one hand, the most significant benefit of the emphasis on diligence and achievement is that it encourages children to pursue their dreams. Pushing youths to obtain what they want can lead to their future success. Take Walt Disney as an example. At first, everyone, even his father, thought that an artist always failed to make a living, but Disney proved that they were wrong. Through hard work and persistence, he had operated his filming studio and owned more than 100 parks around the world. Another positive aspect is that this approach teaches kids to challenge themselves. This helps expand their horizons and therefore promotes their flexibility while widening their knowledge. On the other hand, this message also has apparent drawbacks. Firstly, it makes kids become very self-critical and undermine their self-confidence. Take tiger parenting as an example. Tiger parents enforce unrealistically high expectations regarding their children’s academic performances and they focus heavily on perfectionism. Therefore, kids become afraid of making mistakes and even reduce their belief that they can accomplish goals. As a result, children of strict parents are more vulnerable to depression and anxiety than those of more supportive parents. In conclusion, it is an irrefutable fact that being diligent is an essential factor but pushing children beyond their limits could cause undesirable consequences on their mental health.
Hard
work
is considered
one of the key components in making an individual’s dream possible. Persuading
children
that working
hard
will bring everything is quite common in
some
nations. This approach
obviously
motivates them and encourages them to pursue their dreams.
However
, it
also
has potential
negative
aspects.

On the one hand, the most significant benefit of the emphasis on diligence and achievement is that it encourages
children
to pursue their dreams. Pushing youths to obtain what they want can lead to their future success. Take Walt Disney as an example. At
first
, everyone, even his father,
thought
that an artist always failed to
make
a living,
but
Disney proved that they were
wrong
. Through
hard
work and persistence, he had operated his filming studio and
owned
more than 100 parks around the world. Another
positive
aspect is that this approach teaches kids to challenge themselves. This
helps
expand their horizons and
therefore
promotes their flexibility while widening their knowledge.

On the other hand
, this message
also
has apparent drawbacks.
Firstly
, it
makes
kids become
very
self-critical and undermine their self-confidence. Take tiger parenting as an example. Tiger parents enforce
unrealistically
high expectations regarding their
children’s
academic
performances and
they focus
heavily
on perfectionism.
Therefore
, kids become afraid of making mistakes and even
reduce
their belief that they can accomplish goals.
As a result
,
children
of strict parents are more vulnerable to depression and anxiety than those of more supportive parents.

In conclusion
, it is an irrefutable fact that being diligent is an essential factor
but
pushing
children
beyond their limits could cause undesirable consequences on their mental health.
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IELTS essay In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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