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Popular events like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.3

Popular events like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. with this opinion? v. 3
Some claim that international sport events like football World cup are crucial to ease tension between countries and soften nationalist emotions in a safe way. I mostly agree with this statement. I believe that international debates are merely political problems and ordinary people should not take serious this issues. Because, national conflicts may cause serious damages from some trade bans to wars, if citizens support this conflicts. Unknown problems are prone to get bigger and countries may become enemies for nothing. What the solution is to ease the tension between countries is to face the rivals. For instance, playing a football match is a good example for this. Audiences will see their competitors are just ordinary people like them not dangerous ones. And some patriotic slogans are not suit the real life in the atmosphere of a match. Thus, people from different nations do not have real problems each other and sport events proof it. Furthermore, not only ordinary citizens get together in a sporting occasion, politicians can sit together in the see the same sportive event. After that, their speeches soften at the end of the match. Because they can see two tennis players, for example, congratulate themselves, rival swimmers may hug each other after the race or footballers may change their shirts at the end of the match with some tears in their eyes. Hence, after these scenes, politicians cannot easily talk very sharp about the other countries. To conclude, in my personal view, sporting occasions are very fundamental to calm people down, due to these problems are not very realistic and they can disappear after a tournament.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
claim that international sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
like football World cup are crucial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
tension between countries and soften nationalist emotions
Consider replacing "in a safe way" with the adverb for "safe"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a safe way
. I
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

I believe that international debates are
merely
political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not take serious this issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, national conflicts may cause serious damages from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trade bans to wars, if citizens support this conflicts. Unknown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are prone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bigger and countries may become enemies for nothing. What the solution is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the tension between countries is to face the rivals.
For instance
, playing a football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example for this. Audiences will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their competitors are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like them not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
ones. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
patriotic slogans are not suit the real life in the atmosphere of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations do not have real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
each other and sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
proof it.

Furthermore
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ordinary citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together in a sporting occasion, politicians can sit together in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the same sportive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. After that, their speeches soften at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
two tennis players,
for example
, congratulate themselves, rival swimmers may hug each other after the race or footballers may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their shirts at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tears in their eyes.
Hence
, after these scenes, politicians cannot
easily
talk
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sharp about the other countries.

To conclude
, in my personal view, sporting occasions are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fundamental to calm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
down, due to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
realistic and
they can disappear after a tournament.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Popular events like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. with this opinion? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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