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Poverty has always been a huge issue in our country, how can it be eradicated?

Poverty has always been a huge issue in our country, how can it be eradicated? JKbj6
Finding solutions for ending poverty have always been a priority in our country. Firstly, it is obvious that scarcity of income causes indigence, so the best pathway out of this issue is a well-paying job. Indeed, if the government had cared about skills more than education, people would be able to focus on their ability and be aware about how they can use it. We have seen people who has a job but they do not have enough salary, even though they are working long hours in a day and it is just because they have not been trained to be a doctor.
Finding solutions for ending poverty have always been a priority in our country.
Firstly
, it is obvious that scarcity of income causes indigence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the best pathway out of this issue is a well-paying job.
Indeed
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
had cared about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
more than education,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would be able to focus on their ability and be aware about how they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it. We have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
has
a job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
salary,
even though
they are working long hours in a day and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have not
been trained
to be a doctor.

IELTS essay Poverty has always been a huge issue in our country, how can it be eradicated?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
103 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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