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Some people think getting old is entirely bad, but other people do think it is much better for old people to live now than in the past. please show your idea with explanation, examples and your knowledge

Some people think getting old is entirely bad, but other people do think it is much better for old people to live now than in the past. please show your idea with explanation, examples and your knowledge ELoBM
It is true that there are some disadvantages to being old, while some people argued that becoming an elderly person has no benefit, I totally disagree with this point of view, because I believe that aged people can gain a high quality of life and a longer life expectancy, especially in this modern century. Seniors certainly have many weaknesses when comparing with young people. For example, the elderly usually suffers from fragile bones, wrinkled face, shaking hands, slower brain and growing diseases. However, they also have uncompetitive strengths in wise of life experience, well-developed professional skills and sometimes gender temple. What’s more, they can yield benefit from today’s well-developed society. For example, with the improvement of approaches for conveying knowledge, seniors can live with dignity by imparting professional skills and knowledge to next generation, which could earn the respect from the youth. Another benefit for elder people is the pension mechanism, which offers the elderly a budget of money monthly, which means that they don’t need to depend on their children. what is worth mentioning is the Old College. Through colleges for the elderly, the aged can broaden their knowledge to fulfill the disposable time of retirement, find out their undiscovered talents and be possible to meet some kindred spirits. There are several reasons why senior citizens have better life expectations and enjoy increased quality of life than the past time. Firstly, the froward-lookingly？ high-tech medical treatments have improved the life expectancy of human-being and eased many pains of patients. Secondly, well-constructed health care system is looking after many old people and providing them with the ability of self-caring. For instance, with the help of aiding tools, older people can help themselves out from a wide range of inconvenience. Finally, the knowledge of health is popularized, seniors are becoming healthier with corrected lifestyle when they were young. In conclusion, I understand the argument that saw getting old an adverse change, but I believe that being elderly is a natural progress and nothing to be sorry for. Besides, it seems to me that it is a luck when getting old in this century.
It is true that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages to being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argued that becoming an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
person has no benefit, I
totally
disagree with this point of view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe that aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can gain a high quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and a longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy,
especially
in this modern century.

Seniors
certainly
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
weaknesses when comparing with young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
usually
suffers from fragile bones, wrinkled face, shaking hands, slower brain and growing diseases.
However
, they
also
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
uncompetitive
strengths in wise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experience, well-developed professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
gender temple. What’s more, they can yield benefit from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s well-developed society.
For example
, with the improvement of approaches for conveying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, seniors can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with dignity by imparting professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to
next
generation, which could earn the respect from the youth. Another benefit for elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
the pension mechanism, which offers the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
a budget of money monthly, which means that they don’t need to depend on their children.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
what
is worth mentioning is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
College. Through colleges for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
, the aged can broaden their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to fulfill the disposable time of retirement, find out their undiscovered talents and be possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kindred spirits.

There are several reasons why senior citizens have better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectations and enjoy increased quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
than the
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
.
Firstly
, the froward-
lookingly
？ high-tech medical treatments have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy of human-being and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pains of patients.
Secondly
, well-constructed health care system is looking after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and providing them with the ability of self-caring.
For instance
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of aiding tools, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
themselves out from a wide range of inconvenience.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of health
is popularized
, seniors are becoming healthier with corrected lifestyle when they were young.

In conclusion
, I understand the argument that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
an adverse
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
is a natural progress and nothing to be sorry for.
Besides
, it seems to me that it is a luck when getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
in this century.
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IELTS essay Some people think getting old is entirely bad, but other people do think it is much better for old people to live now than in the past. please show your idea with explanation, examples and your knowledge

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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