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Popularity of sports among men.

Popularity of sports among men. m9d5q
These days the coverage of world of sport is mostly dominated by the sports that men do. There has to be a reason that we are going to find the reason behind this. The medias are the organizations that decide to pay attention to sports and cover them for the world. There are couple of reasons that make men's sports more valuable than women's. First the historical background, it's known that the body building and other basic sports had a historical background. Back in the day in Roman empire and Ancient Greece the soldiers had to build their bodies and be stronger, then they used to show their powers to each other. As time passes by, the body show became some sort of art and some sports like throwing balls and spears became more popular, the male soldiers were the first people who have participated in the very first tournaments of these kind of sports. Beside of the historical background, there would probably be some physical advantages too. It's not hidden to anyone that the average power and condition of men are far better than women's body. For example in a sport like basketball, men have better performances because they are stronger and taller. Being better at anything makes it more enjoyable to watch for other people. After all, although the sport is something essential for being healthy for both genders, I think that being interesting to watch and some historical references are the reasons that make men's sport more popular.
These days the coverage of world of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is
mostly
dominated by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
do. There
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that we are going to find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
behind this. The medias are the organizations that decide to pay attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and cover them for the world. There are
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
more valuable than women's.
First
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
background, it's known that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
building and other basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
background. Back in the day in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Roman empire
and Ancient Greece the soldiers had to build their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
and be stronger, then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their powers to each other. As time passes by, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of art and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like throwing balls and spears became more popular, the male soldiers were the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have participated in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
tournaments of
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Beside of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
background, there would
probably
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical advantages too. It's not hidden to anyone that the average power and condition of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are far better than women's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
.
For example
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
like basketball,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
have better performances
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are stronger and taller. Being better at anything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it more enjoyable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
for other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
After all
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is something essential for being healthy for both genders, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that being interesting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
references are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
more popular.
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IELTS essay Popularity of sports among men.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
251 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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