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For many people, going shopping is a pleasant activity>

For many people, going shopping is a pleasant activity> eb27p
It is often argued that going shopping is enjoyable exercise while other people complain about going shopping is disappointed work. This essay agrees with the ideas that customers can gain happy satisfaction by shopping. Firstly, people can socialize with their best friends together. Secondly, customers can relax their brain by shopping. First of all, people can get happiness by shopping because shoppers can hang out with their families and friends. While going shopping, they can have great conversations by talking about their families, enjoy foods that they love, go to cinema and play games with people who they love. In fact, that is extremely fun spending time together with friends and family after a long time. Therefore, going shopping is a pleasurable activity for majority of people. Secondly, buyer can reduce their pains by shopping because it brings them to new places and relax their minds to forget problems. While shopping, purchaser can purchase the things that they need. Due to this, customers are going to forget their difficulties for a while, and try new things to start their new lifestyles. For example, when you feel depressed, it can fresh your mind by trying new things that you have never done before because you feel like you are a new person to ignore the past. For this reason, going shopping is good way to rest your brain. To summarize, going shopping is excellent ways to create happiness with our families and friends and to try new items that you have never tried before to feel great.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is enjoyable exercise while other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
complain about going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is disappointed
work. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
that customers can gain happy satisfaction by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can socialize with their best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
together.
Secondly
, customers can relax their brain by shopping.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
happiness by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
shoppers can hang out with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. While going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, they can have great conversations by talking about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, enjoy foods that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, go to cinema and play games with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
. In fact,
that is
extremely
fun spending time together with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
after a long time.
Therefore
, going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is a pleasurable activity for
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Secondly
, buyer can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their pains by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it brings them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
places and relax their minds to forget problems. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, purchaser can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the things that they need. Due to this, customers are going to forget their difficulties for a while, and try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
lifestyles.
For example
, when you feel depressed, it
The word 'fresh' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
can fresh
your mind by trying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things that you have never done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you feel like you are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
person to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the past.
For this reason
, going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a good".
good
way to rest your brain.

To summarize
, going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is excellent ways to create happiness with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and to try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
items that you have never tried
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
to feel great.
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IELTS essay For many people, going shopping is a pleasant activity>

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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