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police,genders ,law,government

police,genders ,law,government kbpqe
It is said that the workforce should not have women to work in it. This essay disagrees with the statement, due to the fact that this could cause separation between the two genders in the field, or even exacerbate the gender discrimination still being common in today society. On the one hand, this should not only regard the pontential declining in productivy of the two sexes, but because providing one with the right to do something without doing so to the others also related to the ethical problem. To clarify, narrowing down the problem to the police field specifically, if women are forbidded from joining the police force, they might ask themselves for any reasons should they not be allow to do things men can freely opt to do or not. Also, to the men's side, they might question their owns why men always have to go for dangerous jobs, while women do not. This indesirability in their job could even lead to a reduction in productivity, not to mention, the job could eventually become less attractive in the future, hence, the method would not be viable. On the other hand, not allowing women to join the force might waste potential female talents in the field. To illustrate, it is unarguable that there are many examples of women as a great polliceman, and they are no less or even much superior compared to many male counterparts. Additionally, to my personal belief, as long as people strive for something hard enough, they would definitely get it. The same thing happens with becoming a policeman, thus even being a woman or a man, becoming a star in the police force is no less than possible for them. In conclusion, I don't support the idea of not permitting women to join the police force, for potential consequences this might cause.
It
is said
that the workforce should not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to work in it. This essay disagrees with the statement, due to the fact that this could cause separation between the two genders in the field, or even exacerbate the gender discrimination
still
being common in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
society.

On the one hand, this should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
regard the
Possible spelling mistake found.
pontential
declining in
Possible spelling mistake found.
productivy
of the two sexes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
providing one with the right to do something without doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to the others
also
related to the ethical problem. To clarify, narrowing down the problem to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
field
specifically
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
forbidded
from joining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
ask themselves for any reasons should they not be
Consider using a past participle here: "allowed".
allow
Did you mean "doing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to do
things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
can
freely
opt to do or not.
Also
, to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
's side, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
question their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
jobs, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
do not. This
Possible spelling mistake found.
indesirability
in their job could even lead to a reduction in productivity, not to mention, the job could
eventually
become less attractive in the future,
hence
, the method would not be viable.

On the other hand
, not allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
waste potential female talents in the field. To illustrate, it is unarguable that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
examples of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
as a great
Possible spelling mistake found.
polliceman
, and they are no less or even much superior compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
male counterparts.
Additionally
, to my personal belief, as long as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
strive for something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, they would definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it. The same thing happens with becoming a policeman,
thus
even being a woman or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, becoming a star in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
is no less than possible for them.

In conclusion
, I don't support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of not permitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
, for potential consequences this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
cause.
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IELTS essay police,genders ,law,government

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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