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In recent decades, there has been a heated debate over the salary issue of civil service workers.

In recent decades, there has been a heated debate over the salary issue of civil service workers. kbp0e
In recent decades, there has been a heated debate over the salary issue of civil service workers. Many individuals point out that these crucial contributors to the society are extremely underpaid, while those employed in entertainment industry or corporate managers receive signifcantly better income. In my view, however, I concur with this statement to some extent On the one hand, it is an undeniable fact that a number of jobs such as medical workers or education staffs make a great contribution for the betterment of nations. Had it not been for general practitioners, thousands of lives would not have been revived. In effect, the loss of this workforce would have created an employment crisis for countries. The job of teaching staff, moreover, renders many people to be more competitive in the job market. Clearly, the role of educators has proved indispensable in decreasing criminal rate as well as the elimination of illiteracy. On the other hand, the employers play a vital in determining the salary of their workers, in this sense, private institutions outperform its governmental organisations in terms of salary paid to their employees. Obviously, conglomerate managers as well as those having a career in the entertainment field are affiliated with private companies, who spend a huge proportion of financial resources on salary payment. Furthermore, rising the payment of service workers require an insurmountable amount of monatery resources from the national administratives, as these employees usually sign working contracts with the government. Ultimately, the national administratives are incapable of manipulate the salary of their workers because governmental resources need to be allocated for other areas of the economy. In conclusion, I am inclined to believe that there should be no reform in the salary system. I, nevertheless, think that better career benefits should be distributed to civil service workers.
In recent decades, there has been a heated debate over the
salary
issue of civil service
workers
.
Many
individuals point out that these crucial contributors to the society are
extremely
underpaid, while those employed in entertainment industry or corporate managers receive
signifcantly
better income. In my view,
however
, I concur with this statement to
some
extent

On the one hand, it is an undeniable fact that a number of jobs such as medical
workers
or education staffs
make
a great contribution for the betterment of nations. Had it not been for general practitioners, thousands of
lives
would not have
been revived
. In effect, the loss of this workforce would have created an employment crisis for countries. The job of teaching staff,
moreover
, renders
many
people
to be more competitive in the job market.
Clearly
, the role of educators has proved indispensable in decreasing criminal rate
as well
as the elimination of illiteracy.

On the other hand
, the employers play a vital in determining the
salary
of their
workers
, in this sense, private institutions outperform its governmental
organisations
in terms of
salary
paid to their employees.
Obviously
, conglomerate managers
as well
as those having a career in the entertainment field
are affiliated
with private
companies
, who spend a huge proportion of financial resources on
salary
payment.
Furthermore
, rising the payment of service
workers
require an insurmountable amount of
monatery
resources from the national
administratives
, as these employees
usually
sign
working contracts with the
government
.
Ultimately
, the national
administratives
are incapable of manipulate the
salary
of their
workers
because
governmental resources need to
be allocated
for other areas of the economy.

In conclusion
, I
am inclined
to believe that there should be no reform in the
salary
system. I,
nevertheless
,
think
that better career benefits should
be distributed
to civil service
workers
.
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IELTS essay In recent decades, there has been a heated debate over the salary issue of civil service workers.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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