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POINTS: - PROVIDING ESSENTIAL THINGS TO KIDS CAN MAKE THEM PRODUCTIVE AND CREATIVE. FOR E.G. LAPTOP FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES WHICH CAN ALSO HELPS THEM PERFORM OTHER ACTIVIST AND OTHER FACTORS.

POINTS: - PROVIDING ESSENTIAL THINGS TO KIDS CAN MAKE THEM PRODUCTIVE AND CREATIVE. FOR E. G. LAPTOP FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES WHICH CAN ALSO HELPS THEM PERFORM OTHER ACTIVIST AND OTHER FACTORS. r6Oqn
It is not surprising fact that parents role in child development is one of the toughest role to perform. Many of them believe that kids desire should be completed no matter whatever they demand as it assists them in development while others argue that they should not. This essay will discuss this view and will justify whether this growth can outcome positive or negative with some relevant ideas followed by a conclusion in the end. On the one hand, there are numerous advantages of satisfying children’s need. Firstly, it assists them in productive development. Additionally, furnishing necessary things by parents to their kids can aids in their educational career and also makes them creative with those essential products they use. To illustrate, due to the spread of corona virus, many parents supplied electronic devices to their children for their academic purposes which not only gained their studies but also emerged them to use these gadgets which made them learn various other things. On the other hand, though these expansions can be extremely positive but there are some drawback for the same. One of the adverse effect is that it effects children's mental health. Moreover, satisfying children's needs by their parents can emerge their kids to demands more unnecessary goods which can encourage kids to be stubborn or short tempered person and also effects in their education. For instance, due to the advancement of digital games, many teenagers demanded these games while many parents denied which subsequently made them angry on their parents. To conclude, child caring role is the top most priority role of every parents and as per the above discussion, I believe that this evolution can be excessively positive as completing kids desire can make them innovative and quality in their development while they must also avoid to provide those things which are irrelevant to them.
It is not surprising fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is one of the toughest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
to perform.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
desire should
be completed
no matter whatever they demand as it assists them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
while others argue that they should not. This essay will discuss this view and will justify whether this growth can outcome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relevant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
followed by a conclusion in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

On the one hand, there are numerous advantages of satisfying children’s need.
Firstly
, it assists them in productive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
Additionally
, furnishing necessary things by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
can aids in their educational career and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them creative with those essential products they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. To illustrate, due to the spread of
The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
supplied electronic devices to their children for their academic purposes which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gained their studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
emerged them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these gadgets which made them learn various other things.

On the other hand
, though these expansions can be
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawback for the same. One of the adverse effect is that it effects children's mental health.
Moreover
, satisfying children's needs by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can emerge their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to demands more unnecessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
which can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to be stubborn or short tempered person and
also
effects in their education.
For instance
, due to the advancement of digital games,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
demanded these games while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
denied which
subsequently
made them angry on their parents.

To conclude
, child caring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
is the top most priority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
of every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "parent"?
parents
and as per the above discussion, I believe that this evolution can be
excessively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
as completing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
desire can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them innovative and quality in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
while they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
The verb 'avoid' is used with the gerund form: "avoid providing".
avoid to provide
those things which are irrelevant to them.
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IELTS essay POINTS: - PROVIDING ESSENTIAL THINGS TO KIDS CAN MAKE THEM PRODUCTIVE AND CREATIVE. FOR E. G. LAPTOP FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES WHICH CAN ALSO HELPS THEM PERFORM OTHER ACTIVIST AND OTHER FACTORS.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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