Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Please write a Statement of Purpose

Please write a Statement of Purpose OExaG
I intend to apply for the bachelor’s degree program of Business Management and Finance. I am a third- year Tourism and Hospitality Management student in Myanmar, but I have been in the same year since the school closed in 2020 March. I supposed to finish my bachelor’s degree in early 2022, and I wanted to join Master of Business Management at Masaryk University after my graduation. However, all of my expectations were gone when the military coup happened in Myanmar. To me, education is crucial, and my goal is to become an entrepreneur. Since I have joined Tourism management, I was more interested and got good scores in business modules such as accounting and marketing. During my gap years, I also attended business workshops and short business courses from online. After attending these workshops and short courses, my passion to pursue my Bachelor’s Degree in Business became more decisive because I believe that this degree will be a big step for my professional development. There are many reasons why I would like to choose the Bachelor of Business Management and Finance at MUNI for my further studies. Firstly, the modules of the program such as Managing personal finances, risk management and insurance, quantitative methods for decision making attract me the most because they are unique and different from other Business courses. I am sure that the curriculum provided by the Faculty of Economics and Administration will help me to gain sufficient knowledge about business. Secondly, the Masaryk University is perfectly located in Brno which is known as one of the most attractive cities Europe. After doing some research, I found out that the monthly expenses in Brno is cheaper compared to other European cities. Plus, as a language lover, I can have the chance to learn Czech language by studying in the Czech Republic. Therefore, there is no doubt that I would like study at a good-ranking university in Brno. Finally, studying at MUNI will develop my understanding of international culture because I can have a chance to go to exchange programs. Thus, I chose to apply for the Business Management and Finance program at MUNI over other universities. As a well-determined student, I have a good academic background, and I have done and still doing volunteering jobs. If I get accepted to the MUNI, I will not only actively join university clubs but also will take part in university volunteering programs and workshops to be a part of the MUNI student community and to broaden my horizons. Moreover, I have good intentions about my future so that choosing a dedicated candidate like me will be a good choice for MUNI too. All in all, I will put all of my efforts at your university, and I will try my best to meet your expectations. I am certain that studying the Bachelor of Business Management and Finance program at MUNI will be a wonderful opportunity for me, and I cannot wait to get admission and enroll at your university.
I intend to apply for the bachelor’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Management
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Finance
. I am a third- year Tourism and Hospitality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Management
student in Myanmar,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I have been in the same year since the school closed in 2020 March.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
supposed to finish my bachelor’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
in early 2022, and I wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
Master of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Management
at Masaryk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
after my graduation.
However
, all of my expectations
were gone
when the military coup happened in Myanmar.

To me, education is crucial, and my goal is to become an entrepreneur. Since I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
Tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
, I was more interested and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
scores in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
modules such as accounting and marketing. During my gap years, I
also
attended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
workshops and short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
courses from online. After attending these workshops and short courses, my passion to pursue my Bachelor’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Degree
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
became more decisive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
will be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
step for my professional development.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why I would like to choose the Bachelor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Management
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Finance
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
MUNI
for my
further
studies.
Firstly
, the modules of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
such as Managing personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finances
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
and insurance, quantitative methods for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
attract me the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are unique and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
courses. I am sure that the curriculum provided by the Faculty of Economics and Administration will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to gain sufficient knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
Secondly
, the Masaryk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
is
perfectly
located in Brno which
is known
as one of the most attractive cities Europe. After doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research, I found out that the monthly expenses in Brno is cheaper compared to other European cities. Plus, as a language lover, I can have the chance to learn Czech language by studying in the Czech Republic.
Therefore
, there is no doubt that I would like study at a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
-ranking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
in Brno.
Finally
, studying at
Possible spelling mistake found.
MUNI
will develop my understanding of international culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I can have a chance to go to exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
.
Thus
, I chose to apply for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Management
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Finance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
MUNI
over other universities.

As a well-determined student, I have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
academic background, and I have done and
still
doing volunteering jobs. If I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
MUNI
, I will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
actively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
clubs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
volunteering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and workshops to be a part of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
MUNI
student community and to broaden my horizons.
Moreover
, I have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
intentions about my future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that choosing a dedicated candidate like me will be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
choice for
Possible spelling mistake found.
MUNI
too.

All in all, I will put all of my efforts at your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, and I will try my best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
your expectations. I am certain that studying the Bachelor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Management
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Finance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
MUNI
will be a wonderful opportunity for me, and I cannot wait to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission and enroll at your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Please write a Statement of Purpose

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
499 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Please write a Statement of Purpose