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Playing computer games is bad for children, whereas others say that it has positive effects. Discuss both views

Playing computer games is bad for children, whereas others say that it has positive effects. Discuss both views DVyqE
Nowadays children invest more time for using computers especially in some video games. Some believe that would be make detrimental effects on children life. However, a number of people think that utilising computer programs could be make good effect in children On the one hand, utilising computer games could be make adverse effect on children life the one of the possible effect is, health issue. For instance, eyes problem. If a child playing continuously on computer video games, that would be reduce their eyes power and these causes they cannot achieve their dreams. In addition, addition of game is another big bad effect from using computers such as, particular Game manufacturers are providing addiction elements for some android games. For example, Pubg, pes these games are more harmful for children. Furthermore, if a student spent several time for using computer it would be make laziness in children's behaviour such as they do not concentrate other jobs especially in their studies. On the other hand, in the modern era, many children and people are using desktop for their life aspects. Using electronics have also positive factors for example, if a student playing one game, that would be influence their imagination skill and their brain contribute to improving new skill. Moreover, concentration is significant factor in every person life. For instance, if child cannot focus their offline classes, the another option is online class and it would be make good effect on their studies. To conclude, restricting to computer users especially in children that is an herculean task.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
invest more time for using computers
especially
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
detrimental effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
computer programs could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
in children

On the one hand,
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
adverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
the one of the possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
is, health issue.
For instance
, eyes problem. If a child playing
continuously
on computer video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, that would be
Consider using the past participle "reduced"?
reduce
their eyes power and these causes they cannot achieve their dreams.
In addition
, addition of game is another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
from using computers such as, particular

Game manufacturers are providing addiction elements for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
android
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
For example
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Pubg
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
pes
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are more harmful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Furthermore
, if a student spent
Possible agreement error. The noun time seems to be countable; consider using: "several times".
several time
for using computer it would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
laziness in children's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
such as they do not concentrate other jobs
especially
in their studies.

On the other hand
, in the modern era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are using desktop for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
aspects. Using electronics have
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
factors
for example
, if a student playing one game, that would be influence their imagination
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and their brain contribute to improving new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
Moreover
, concentration is significant factor in every person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, if child cannot focus their offline classes, the another option is online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and it would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on their studies.

To conclude
, restricting to computer users
especially
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
Possible incorrect capitalization. Some adjectives that are derived from proper nouns can have both an initial capital letter and an initial lower case letter. If there is a close association with the proper noun, use "Herculean".
herculean
task.
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IELTS essay Playing computer games is bad for children, whereas others say that it has positive effects. Discuss both views

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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