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E-waste is a growing danger to people in developing countries all over the world. Discuss the problems related to e-waste for both the environment and the people, then offer solutions on how these problems can be solved.

E-waste is a growing danger to people in developing countries all over the world. Discuss the problems related to e-waste for both the environment and the people, then offer solutions on how these problems can be solved. 55qKA
In this day and age, the impact that electronic waste is having on developing countries has been a matter of much controversy. In this essay, I will analyze some of the effects of e-waste and propose some suggestions to tackle this problem. To begin with, it is clear that this type of rubbish is detrimental to not only the people but also the environment. Firstly, electronic garbage poses a threat to citizen’s health. If not handled properly, the poisonous gas from these landfills can cause air pollution, making residents more prone to respiratory diseases. Secondly, there are many dangerous chemical properties in these worn-out devices that can easily leak into the area’s soil and water that is essential to any living being. To make matter worse, if trees could hardly grow, the air condition would not be able to recover. This can create a hostile environment for inhabitants. Luckily, measures can still be taken to resolve this issue. First of all, developing countries’ leaders must establish new laws to limit the amount of waste affecting their citizens. For instance, landfills must be located at least a kilometer away from residents. Moreover, e-waste dumps' workers need to be equipped with special gear to deal with this type of garbage safely. Second of all, it is crucial to raise awareness about the danger of incorrect disposal of electrical appliances to the public. By doing so, more and more people would become aware of the situation and be more cautious the next time they have to get rid of a broken phone. Last but not least, consumers should opt for second-hand smart devices instead of brand-new ones. This can encourage those who need to give away their electric gadgets to resell these to ones in need with a cheaper price and more environmental ethics. In conclusion, e-waste is becoming a problem that is getting more serious than ever before and is likely to become worse if not dealt with immediately. Thankfully, the amount of people aware of this issue is increasing and this public attention would be more beneficial than ever at this moment.
In this day and age, the impact that electronic waste is having on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
has been a matter of much controversy. In this essay, I will analyze
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
effects of e-waste and propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggestions to tackle this problem.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that this type of rubbish is detrimental to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the environment.
Firstly
, electronic garbage poses a threat to citizen’s health. If not handled
properly
, the poisonous gas from these landfills can cause air pollution, making residents more prone to respiratory diseases.
Secondly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
chemical properties in these worn-out devices that can
easily
leak into the area’s soil and water
that is
essential to any living being. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
matter worse, if trees could hardly grow, the air condition would not be able to recover. This can create a hostile environment for inhabitants.

Luckily, measures can
still
be taken
to resolve this issue.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
’ leaders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
establish new laws to limit the amount of waste affecting their citizens.
For instance
, landfills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be located
at least a kilometer away from residents.
Moreover
, e-waste dumps' workers need to
be equipped
with special gear to deal with this type of garbage
safely
. Second of all, it is crucial to raise awareness about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of incorrect disposal of electrical appliances to the public. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would become aware of the situation and be more cautious the
next
time they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of a broken phone. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, consumers should opt for second-hand smart devices
instead
of brand-new ones. This can encourage those who need to give away their electric gadgets to resell these to ones in need with a cheaper price and more environmental ethics.

In conclusion
, e-waste is becoming a problem
that is
getting more serious than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and is likely to become worse if not dealt with immediately.
Thankfully
, the amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aware of this issue is increasing and this public attention would be more beneficial than ever at this moment.
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IELTS essay E-waste is a growing danger to people in developing countries all over the world. Discuss the problems related to e-waste for both the environment and the people, then offer solutions on how these problems can be solved.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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