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Plastic shopping bag contributes to the pollution of land and sea, some people think they should be banned. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Plastic shopping bag contributes to the pollution of land and sea, some people think they should be banned. v. 1
In this present world, the usage of technology is constantly on the rise. Even classrooms are among the many places that enjoy the usage and benefits of technology. The argument that classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology is an argument that is both agreed and disagreed with by many. The two sides of this argument will be thoroughly analysed and discussed in this essay before drawing a reasoned conclusion. Firstly, the advancement rate at which technology is capable of mimicking the physical and psychological abilities of humans is quite remarkable. For instance, the Honda robot Asimov has a movable body and can manipulate objects just as perfect as humans. Thus the prospect of technology being used to teach students in the classroom is considerable. This is why it can be argued that classroom teachers could be totally substituted for technology. Nevertheless, a robotic teacher made with artificial intelligence would lack sufficient control over its classroom students. For instance, it is widely known that kids need to be thoroughly watched by their teachers to be sure that they take their class works seriously and do not fool around when classes are going on. Sadly, this is a task robotic teachers will be incapable of carrying out. Therefore, this makes it clear that classroom teachers will never be totally substituted for technology. To summarise, the two sides of the argument concerning the prospect of robotic teachers in school have strong supports. However, after thorough analysis of both sides, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. It is therefore predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
In this present world, the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
constantly
on the rise. Even classrooms are among the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places that enjoy the usage and benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
that classroom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
will be
totally
substituted for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
that is
both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
and disagreed with by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. The two sides of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
will be
thoroughly
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
and discussed in this essay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
drawing a reasoned conclusion.

Firstly
, the advancement rate at which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is capable of mimicking the physical and psychological abilities of humans is quite remarkable.
For instance
, the Honda robot Asimov has a movable body and can manipulate objects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as perfect as humans.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the prospect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to teach students in the classroom is considerable. This is why it can
be argued
that classroom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
could be
totally
substituted for technology.

Nevertheless
, a robotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
made with artificial intelligence would lack sufficient control over its classroom students.
For instance
, it is
widely
known that kids need to be
thoroughly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to be sure that they take their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
works
seriously
and do not fool around when classes are going on.
Sadly
, this is a task robotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
will be incapable of carrying out.
Therefore
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that classroom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
will never be
totally
substituted for technology.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, the two sides of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
concerning the prospect of robotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in school have strong supports.
However
, after thorough analysis of both sides, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot
be supported
. It is
therefore
predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects, and
because of this
, classroom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
will never
be substituted
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Plastic shopping bag contributes to the pollution of land and sea, some people think they should be banned. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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