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Plastic shopping bag contributes to the pollution of land and sea, some people think they should be banned. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Plastic shopping bag contributes to the pollution of land and sea, some people think they should be banned. v. 2
Pollution is a significant issue in society. Plastic bags play a vital role in pollution maximization on land and ocean. I believe the plastic bag ought to be banned entirely because they are of the major reason behind pollution on the earth. There is numerous point which reflects why plastic bags need to ban? Firstly, plastic bags are hazardous to humankind. Many people use a plastic bag to store food items whereas without knowing that they are made of a dangerous chemical such as polyethylene. Due to which people health are deteriorating and they are getting ill. For example, research sh that toxic substances are found in plastic bags which goes into food and make it contaminated. Consequently, people suffer from health issues such as food poisoning and various digestion issues. Also, Plastic bags are non-biodegradable, as a result, they remain on this earth for a long time. Because they cannot be recycled that why they are thrown into the river. However, this is the reason for water impurification and disease occurring from it. On the other hand plastic bags on affected human life, it has effected on Maire life too. When plastic bags are dumped into the river, fishes and other mammals swallow them as a portion of food, and they get ill. Moreover, their lives are put into danger also declining the water quality for them. For example, data shows that every year many water spices die and get sick because of throwing plastic bags in the rivers without considering the importance of their lives. It is necessary to stop the production of plastic bags as if it continues then the pollution on land and ocean could never be controlled. In conclusion, plastic bags are increasing the pollution on land and sea, whereas the government, as well as individuals, need to take the responsibility to overcome this problem and make earth pollution free. So that all the humans and other spices would live their life peacefully.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pollution
is a significant issue in society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
play a vital role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
maximization on land and ocean. I believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
ought to
be banned
entirely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are of the major reason behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
on the earth.

There is numerous point which reflects why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
need to ban?

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
are hazardous to humankind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
to store
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items whereas without knowing that they
are made
of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
chemical such as polyethylene. Due to which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
health are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
deteriorating and
they are getting ill.
For example
, research sh that toxic substances
are found
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
which goes into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it contaminated.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffer from health issues such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
poisoning and various digestion issues.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
are non-biodegradable,
as a result
, they remain on this earth for a long time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they cannot
be recycled
that why they
are thrown
into the river.
However
, this is the reason for water
Possible spelling mistake found.
impurification
and disease occurring from it.

On the other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
human life, it has effected on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maire
life too. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
are dumped
into the river, fishes and other mammals swallow them as a portion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ill.
Moreover
, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are put
into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
also
declining the water quality for them.
For example
, data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that every year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
water spices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of throwing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
in the rivers without considering the importance of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
as if it continues then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
on land and ocean could never
be controlled
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
are increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
on land and sea, whereas the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
as well
as individuals, need to take the responsibility to overcome this problem and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
earth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
free.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that all the humans and other spices would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their life
peacefully
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Plastic shopping bag contributes to the pollution of land and sea, some people think they should be banned. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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