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Planting trees if very important, some people say that trees should be planted in the vacant areas of the cities and town, while others say that housing facilities should be build instead. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Planting trees if very important, some people say that trees should be planted in the vacant areas of the cities and town, while others say that housing facilities should be build instead. v. 1
It is often argued by some people that planting trees in empty regions of the cities and towns is an extremely essential plan. Others believe that governments should use these areas to provide people with accommodation. Nevertheless, I utterly agree with both ideas, as I will opine my reasons for this support in this essay. To begin with, tress can supply people with a plethora of advantages. Firstly, they are considered to be the lungs of Earth since they can release oxygen, which is an important element for human’s body. Secondly, colourful trees and plants give the city with a pleasant view and enables people to feel relaxed when visualizing them. Lastly, they can block the extreme sun rays in hot summers, and provide a shadow for citizens. This was evidenced in a recent research conducted at the “Ministry of Agriculture”, ensuring that planting trees around the globe would decrease the overall temperature tremendously. Moreover, housing facilities are also a crucial strategy that should be taken into account. It is commonly known that the rate of population is increasing enormously in all countries. As a result, many families are left homeless, especially in less-industrialized areas. For this reason, governments ought to build more houses and apartments to secure people and insure a shelter for them. To illustrate, a government report estimated that constructing new places to reside in would reduce the rate of crimes by 35%. In conclusion, it is indisputable that both groups of people have their logical thinking and reasoning. However, I strongly agree that governments should fund money equally for both plans, as they contribute to a lot of benefits to the society.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that planting trees in empty regions of the cities and towns is an
extremely
essential plan. Others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these areas to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with accommodation.
Nevertheless
, I
utterly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, as I will opine my reasons for this support in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, tress can supply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a plethora of advantages.
Firstly
, they
are considered
to be the lungs of Earth since they can release oxygen, which is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
element for human’s body.
Secondly
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
trees and plants give the city with a pleasant view and enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to feel relaxed when visualizing them.
Lastly
, they can block the extreme sun rays in hot summers, and provide a shadow for citizens. This
was evidenced
in a recent research conducted at the “Ministry of Agriculture”, ensuring that planting trees around the globe would decrease the
overall
temperature
tremendously
.

Moreover
, housing facilities are
also
a crucial strategy that should
be taken
into account. It is
commonly
known that the rate of population is increasing
enormously
in all countries.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
homeless,
especially
in less-industrialized areas.
For this reason
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
ought to build more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and apartments to secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and insure a shelter for them. To illustrate, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
report estimated that constructing new places to reside in would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the rate of crimes by 35%.

In conclusion
, it is indisputable that both groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have their logical thinking and reasoning.
However
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should fund money
equally
for both plans, as they contribute to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits to the society.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Planting trees if very important, some people say that trees should be planted in the vacant areas of the cities and town, while others say that housing facilities should be build instead. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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