Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishments is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishments should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? v.57

Learn the difference between a good or bad at an early age its necessary for children. For this distinct punishment is the best way. In my opinion, I completely disagree that is wrong way for learn good behavior to children. Firstly, physical punishment is the wrong way to learn because this way have an bad effect on their mental and then they learn if they stuck in this situation they can use this way to tackle their problems, many cases report that several criminals had a bad childhood and they punished with their parents, so this is a rule of environment that everything their learn from their parents, school, teacher… When a child was punished he’s feeling was hurt and he feels frustration, fear, angry and maybe he turns to an avenger and maybe he will attack to his friends. Secondly, maybe physical punishment result to hurt their body and have danger in many parts because when they punish the fingers crash to their faces and stem from blooding in many cases because a harsh punishment they died or paraplegia. Another point to consider is that restricting some benefit like play dates, use TV or anything devices at home. For example, if child uses a bad word we can tell her that it is not good to use this word or we can refuse to give present to her and compulsory to her do something in social in many countries at schools their force children clean their classes if they do something wrong or helping other classmate. In conclusion, punishment children to learn between right or wrong is the way that many people do because they think it can help them to learn their lessens better. In my opinion is not necessary to physical punishment we have a lot of option to deal with such as social jobs or extra homework.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learn
the difference between a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
at an early age its necessary for children. For this distinct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is the best way. In my opinion, I completely disagree
that is
Please check whether an article is missing: “a wrong”.
wrong
way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
behavior to children.

Firstly
, physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this way have
Use “a” instead of ‘an’ if the following word doesn’t start with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘a sentence’, ‘a university’.
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
effect on their
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mental and
then they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
if they stuck in this situation they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this way to tackle their problems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases report that several criminals had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
childhood and
they punished with their parents,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of environment that everything their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from their parents, school, teacher…

When a child
was punished
he’s feeling was
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hurt and
he feels frustration, fear,
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
angry and
maybe he turns to an
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
avenger and
maybe he will attack to his friends.

Secondly
, maybe physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
result to hurt their body and have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when they punish the fingers crash to their faces and stem from blooding in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a harsh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
or paraplegia.

Another point to consider is that restricting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefit like play dates,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
TV or anything devices at home.
For example
, if child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
word we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
her that it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
Use a comma before ‘or’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
word or
we can refuse to give present to her and compulsory to her do something in social in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries at schools their force children clean their classes if they do something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
or helping other classmate.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
between right or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
is the way that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
their lessens better. In my opinion is not necessary to physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
option to deal with such as social jobs or extra homework.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them to learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts