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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? v.6

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops and cities closing. v. 6
Nowadays, many purchasing outlets have online platforms and thus, have led to an increase in the online shopping industry. Some people are of the opinion that this growth will result in the closing down of conventional shops in the cities. In my opinion, I agree with this perspective. This essay will discuss the reasons why I think the thriving of online shops will ultimately lead to the closure of walk-in shops. The first reason why I believe the growth of platforms online will amount to the close up of shops is the convenience of online shopping. Shopping online is more convenient for customers, because nowadays, many people are time poor. As a result, they cannot afford the time to go to physical stores and so, more and more individuals would rather purchase goods in the comfort of than walking into a store to buy goods. For example, I prefer to make purchases online to buying in physical stores. Consequently, less people now visit physical stores leading to reduced sales. Based on this, all stores would rather sell their goods online 100%. The second reason why I think online purchases will lead to the closure of all stores is because cheaper cost. The cost of online business transaction is cheaper; compared to owning conventional stores. Expenses incurred from running a physical outlet is usually is usually from store rent, government tax, employment of cleaners and shopkeepers, all of which is not needed when running a virtual outlet. Hence, many store owners are reconsidering going 100% virtual. For instance, a study at Harvard revealed that due to the cost of running a physical shop, many outlet keepers are considering the virtual option. In conclusion, I believe that physical shops in cities and towns will close down because of the continuous usage of online shopping. The reasons for my perspective were discussed in the essay.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outlets
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
platforms and
thus
, have led to an increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
industry.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that this growth will result in the closing down of conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in the cities. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this perspective. This essay will discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the thriving of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
will
ultimately
lead to the closure of walk-in shops.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why I believe the growth of platforms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
will amount to the close up of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
is the convenience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is more convenient for customers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are time poor.
As a result
, they cannot afford the time to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, more and more individuals would
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in the comfort of than walking into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
For example
, I prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
to buying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
.
Consequently
,
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
leading to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
sales. Based on this, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
would
rather
sell their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
100%.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
will lead to the closure of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
cheaper cost. The cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
business transaction is cheaper; compared to owning conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
. Expenses incurred from running a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outlet
is
usually
is
usually
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
rent,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
tax, employment of cleaners and shopkeepers, all of which is not needed when running a virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outlet
.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
owners are reconsidering going 100% virtual.
For instance
, a study at Harvard revealed that due to the cost of running a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outlet
keepers are considering the virtual option.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in cities and towns will close down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the continuous usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for my perspective
were discussed
in the essay.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops and cities closing. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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