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placing elders in caring home not taking care of them

placing elders in caring home not taking care of them LGmnr
It is obvious that some people send the elders to caring places instead of taking care of them. Although placing them in nursing homes might have some advantages, such as health checking and making friends, it also has some drawbacks, including lovers’ separation and elderly rejection. One of the advantages of putting an elder in a caring home is paying attention to his health. This is because in the nursing home, which has numerous numbers of doctors and nurses, check patients regularly and supply them with medicines. For example, in the caring home patients eat healthy food and can exercise daily. Consequently, the elders would not only develop healthy traits but also stay in safe hands. Furthermore, the community of these homes may unite, and elders may have new friends who can share their daily news and old memories. Turning to the disadvantages, putting elders in a nursing home might cause elders’ rejection. This is because older people might refuse to leave their homes, where they spent most of their lives. To illustrate, a woman who spent more than 20 years in her home might refuse to leave her daily routines and her staff to live in a foreign place. This should result in not only forcing her to move but also building trust issues with her surroundings. Moreover, living in a nursing home would separate the elders from their lovers. As a result, they wouldn’t see them more frequently, and thus their psychological health might be affected. In conclusion, despite the benefits of placing the elders in a caring home has some benefits as checking their health and making friends, elders’ rejection and lovers’ separation might be some of the drawbacks.
It is obvious that
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some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caring
places
instead
of taking care of them. Although placing them in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
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might
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages, such as
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health
checking and making friends, it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks, including lovers’ separation and elderly rejection.

One of the advantages of putting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caring
home is paying attention to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in the nursing home, which has numerous numbers of doctors and nurses,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
patients
regularly
and supply them with medicines.
For example
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caring
home patients eat healthy food and can exercise daily.
Consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
develop healthy traits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
stay in safe hands.
Furthermore
, the community of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
may unite, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
may have new friends who can share their daily news and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
memories.

Turning to the disadvantages, putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
in a nursing home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders’
rejection. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
refuse to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, where they spent most of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To illustrate, a woman who spent more than 20 years in her home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
refuse to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
her daily routines and her staff to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a foreign place. This should result in not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
forcing her to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
building trust issues with her surroundings.
Moreover
, living in a nursing home would separate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
from their lovers.
As a result
, they wouldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them more
frequently
, and
thus
their psychological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.

In conclusion
, despite the benefits of placing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caring
home has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits as checking their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and making friends,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders’
rejection and lovers’ separation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
drawbacks.

IELTS essay placing elders in caring home not taking care of them

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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