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Shopping not always enjoy time

Shopping not always enjoy time N8g2d
Nowadays, we have different options to be happy and enjoy ourselves like sports, music, and reading ad infinitum items for happiness resources, the entertainment not only by marketing, in this essay I will show how we can get happiness and pleasurable by other things. TheTime have changed, in the past time the people were spent a lot of time, by shopping due to they think it is an enjoyable time, in fact, it is totally wasting the time. The people nowadays are able to marketing online from the internet and investing the time with things more significant issues like sports, reading and music, Sports gives you only positive feedback without adverse results, you can enjoy your self by playing football at weekend and you can get more amenity rather than marketing everyday. While you got to library three times per a week, for instance keeping your mind happy whole the week according the BBC report at 2014. Where they noticed the English people do that and they are always happy Playing piano and listening to music for instance rising the adrenaline hormone, , which increase the happiness level as the medical report for Oxford university when they make a test for human brain under rather music with different frequencies. for example the Spanish people more happy than American people because they are listening to music a lot and making shopping once time per a week while the American more depressed due to they are rarely listening to music while they having the Amazon the biggest company for online shopping but they are marketing every day from malls. Totally, you can enjoy your self with things Mohave big impact to make you happy not only shopping. Specially when you make equall operation between your daily activities, you never feel with dull, owing to you can make variety in your happiness resources rather than one base.
Nowadays, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
options to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
and enjoy ourselves like sports,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, and reading ad infinitum items for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
resources, the entertainment not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
, in this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
and pleasurable by other things.

Possible spelling mistake found.
TheTime
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, in the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
due to they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is an enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, in fact, it is
totally
wasting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
online from the internet and investing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with things more significant issues like sports, reading and music,

Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "Sport gives" or "Sports give".
Sports gives
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feedback without adverse results, you can enjoy your self by playing football at weekend and you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more amenity
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.

While you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to library three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
per a week,
for instance
keeping your mind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
whole the week according the BBC report at 2014. Where they noticed the English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
that and
they are always
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
happy


Playing piano and listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
for instance
rising the adrenaline hormone,
Two consecutive commas
,
which increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
level as the medical report for Oxford university when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
for human brain under
rather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
frequencies.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example the Spanish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
than American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
a lot and making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
per a week while the American more depressed due to they are rarely listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
while
Did you mean "they're having", "they are having", or "they were having"?
they having
the Amazon the biggest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
every day from malls.

Totally
, you can enjoy your self with things Mohave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
impact to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
Specially
when you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
Possible spelling mistake found.
equall
operation between your daily activities, you never feel with dull, owing to you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
variety in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
resources
rather
than one base.
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IELTS essay Shopping not always enjoy time

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
314 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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