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Physical exercise helps to build and develop body and mind. Physical exercise should be made mandatory or it should be voluntary for students till 12th grade?

Physical exercise helps to build and develop body and mind. Physical exercise should be made mandatory or it should be voluntary for students till 12th grade? PL73d
In the modern era, obesity among teenagers is skyrocketing. Due to the hectic schedule of students, engaging in physical activities becomes extremely difficult, engendering students to lose the chance to develop their mind and body. Thus, physical education should be a mandatory part of one's school life. Firstly, indulging in sports primarily benefits a student's health as it provides them with an impeccable opportunity to fight against obesity. Moreover, exercising can boost one's mind. For the best academic performance, students require breaks between studies in order to reset their minds. What better way is there than to participate in physical exercises? Students earn the chance to be relaxed, refreashed and rejuvinated; consequently, helping them to concentrate in their studies and improve academically. Moreover, physical exercises assists teens to develop various skills. Apart from honing one's leadership ability, teenagers can enhance their level of teamwork and the ability to communicate. Sports can help students prepare the vital skills needed for their future career. However, myriad people claim that exercising should be voluntary as it can engender injuries and be a hinderance to education. It is true that sports can cause injuries; nevertheless, for a school to make physical education mandatory, all nescessary precautions to reduce the risks would be implemented. Furthermore, recent research portrays that physical activities motivate the young generation to work harder while allowing them to perform better in academics. Sports improve academics and teens should not miss out on such an opportunity to upgrade themselves. Conclusively, exercising is essential for students to develop physically, psychologically and even academically.
In the modern era, obesity among
teenagers
is skyrocketing. Due to the hectic schedule of
students
, engaging in
physical
activities becomes
extremely
difficult, engendering
students
to lose the chance to develop their mind and body.
Thus
,
physical
education should be a mandatory part of one's school life.

Firstly
, indulging in
sports
primarily
benefits a student's health as it provides them with an impeccable opportunity to fight against obesity.
Moreover
, exercising can boost one's mind. For the best academic performance,
students
require breaks between studies in order to reset their minds. What better way is there than to participate in
physical
exercises?
Students
earn the chance to
be relaxed
,
refreashed
and
rejuvinated
;
consequently
, helping them to concentrate in their studies and
improve
academically
.

Moreover
,
physical
exercises assists teens to develop various
skills
. Apart from honing one's leadership ability,
teenagers
can enhance their level of teamwork and the ability to communicate.
Sports
can
help
students
prepare the vital
skills
needed for their future career.

However
, myriad
people
claim that exercising should be voluntary as it can engender injuries and be a
hinderance
to education. It is true that
sports
can cause injuries;
nevertheless
, for a school to
make
physical
education mandatory, all
nescessary
precautions to
reduce
the
risks
would
be implemented
.
Furthermore
, recent research portrays that
physical
activities motivate the young generation to work harder while allowing them to perform better in academics.
Sports
improve
academics and teens should not miss out on such an opportunity to upgrade themselves.

Conclusively
, exercising is essential for
students
to develop
physically
,
psychologically
and even
academically
.
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IELTS essay Physical exercise helps to build and develop body and mind. Physical exercise should be made mandatory or it should be voluntary for students till 12th grade?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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