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Describe what time you moved to a new home or school. When You mood. Where you moved why you moved how you felt about it

Describe what time you moved to a new home or school. When You mood. Where you moved why you moved how you felt about it PL70X
Well, many children migrate the school hair to their sides and I also change the new school 2 time. Here I would like to speak about I change my school when I was young. On that time I passed out 10th class then I get chance I migrate new school in Moga city in Guru Nanak College. Moreover my parents think that for me because I am very best for every subject or get good marks in class 2 for plus one class because I was admit in Khalsa Guru Nanak College in Moga City that school also best for me and many facilities available in that school and I made new friends in that time and I get many kind of knowledge on this that school because my parents believe that I felt very good because I learnt moral values and some good follow the rules regulations and my parents want to that I followed and regulation rule regulation and Island discipline about discipline and I can become good or successful person in my future because I also best thing for me and I proud of my parents were cause that they are also want to get good successful person in my life then I felt very happy and because I could many learnt many things from that school
Well,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children migrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
hair to their sides and I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
2 time. Here I would like to speak about I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
when I was young. On that time I passed out 10th
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
then I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
chance I migrate new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Moga
city in Guru Nanak College.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
my
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parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that for me
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because
I am
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very
best for every subject or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
marks in
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class
2 for plus one
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class
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I was
Consider using a past participle here: "admitted".
admit
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khalsa
Guru Nanak College in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Moga
City that
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school
also
best for me and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities available in that
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school
and I made new friends in that time and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible agreement error. The noun kind seems to be countable; consider using: "many kinds".
many kind
of knowledge on this that
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school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
my
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parents
believe that I felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
moral values and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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good
follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
regulations and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want to that I followed and regulation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
regulation and Island discipline about discipline and I can become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
or successful person in my future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
A determiner is probably missing here: "also the best".
also best
thing for me and I proud of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
were cause that they are
also
Consider using a past participle here: "wanted".
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
successful person in my life then I felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I could
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things from that
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
school
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IELTS essay Describe what time you moved to a new home or school. When You mood. Where you moved why you moved how you felt about it

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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