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Physical education and sport should be compulsory for all students in all schools. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Physical education and sport should be compulsory for all students in all schools. pRQW0
Adding physical activity to school curriculum as a compulsory course is a controversial topic these days. In my point of view, physical education can provide enormous benefits for children in school and I will support my perspective throughout this essay. Regular exercise leads to positive consequences in terms of physical health. Physical activities avoid obesity in young ages because it helps people balancing the calories and losing weight. For example, doing sport at school in spite of having fun burns many calories without even noticing. Additionally, Sports can decrease the risk of chronic diseases such as heart attack, strokes, and diabetes. In fact, exercise supply adequate Oxygen to muscles and help them improve their strengths. As a result, physically active students become more energetic and would not suffer from heart or lung disease in the future. Furthermore, there is some beneficial impact of sports on children's mental health. Work-out helps students to improve their mental health and mood such as enjoying their time playing with their peers and learning new strategies in games. It also cultivates some positive characteristic in children's personality and traits. For instance, exercises such as football, not only teach students to enhance their team-working abilities but also let them know how they can achieve a goal and become a successful person. Hence, it is correct to presume the psychological effects of work-outs on children's mental health. To conclude, although there are several compelling arguments on including physical activities in school courses, I profoundly believe that exercise in school from younger ages could provide physical and mental health for students. Votes
Adding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum as a compulsory course is a controversial topic these days. In my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education can provide enormous benefits for children in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and I will support my perspective throughout this essay.

Regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
consequences in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
activities avoid obesity in young ages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
balancing the calories and losing weight.
For example
, doing sport at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
having fun burns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
calories without even noticing.
Additionally
, Sports can decrease the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of chronic diseases such as heart attack, strokes, and diabetes. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
supply adequate Oxygen to muscles and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their strengths.
As a result
,
physically
active students become more energetic and would not suffer from heart or lung disease in the future.

Furthermore
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
beneficial impact of sports on children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Work-out
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and mood such as enjoying their time playing with their peers and learning new strategies in games. It
also
cultivates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
characteristic in children's personality and traits.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
such as football, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
teach students to enhance their team-working abilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them know how they can achieve a goal and become a successful person.
Hence
, it is correct to presume the psychological effects of work-outs on children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
health.

To conclude
, although there are several compelling arguments on including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
courses, I
profoundly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
from younger ages could provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
for students.

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IELTS essay Physical education and sport should be compulsory for all students in all schools.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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