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Personal statement-Masters of City Planning

Personal statement-Masters of City Planning KVOoL
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE - MASTER OF CITY PLANNING AT UC - BERKELEY The world is becoming increasingly urbanized. Today, more than half of the global population lives in urban areas, while the urban share worldwide is rising from around one third in 1950 to around two thirds in 2050. With this trend of gargantuan population growth, cities worldwide continue to face challenges of traffic congestion, poor infrasturucture, air pollution, unemployment, housing problems and poor accessibility to urban services, which are major threats to achieving sustainability. In respect of this, it is obvious to understand how effective and efficient Urban Planning is one of the durable solutions to the aforementioned problems as it is a key to building liveable, safe, resilient, inclusive and sustainable communities and cities in order to achieve sustainable development. Born and raised in a rural area in the western part of Rwanda, I witnessed challenges faced by my community like food security, poverty, spatial segregation, unemployment, poor accessibility, lack of infrastructure, among others. Knowingly, I strove to work diligently on my academics since my childhood so that I can be an agent of positive social change not only in my community but my country as well. After successful completion of primary school where I had gained basic leadership skills acquired while acting as class representative of Primary school grade 2, 4, 5 and 6; I was admitted to a competitive secondary school in the western part of Rwanda. At this school, I held different leadership positions. Despite being the top of the class, I got the unforgettable moment in 2011, where all students were promoted and this was achieved for the first time in our school’s history under my class leadership. Furthermore, after high school graduation, I presided over high school graduates in my region where we were involved in different community activities namely building mud houses to vulnerable people, sensitizing about malnutrition prevention and planting trees to combat soil erosion. I was fully committed to all these activities which brought a remarkable impact to our community development. At Twenty, the realization of my long term sought goal to become an agent of positive social change wouldn’t have been achieved unless I considered the possibility to pursue my studies. It wasn’t until 2017 that I won Full Funded Turkish Government Scholarship in the major which would help me to further serve my community on a broad scale. While I was studying the Turkish language at Erciyes University, Prof. Dr. Ergen recommended that we pursue research fields that would benefit our country upon returning from successful completion of the Turkish Government Scholarship (that I am currently a recipient of). I was very fascinated by this symposium as it awakened my conscience about challenges in the field of urban planning in my country and the steps I may take in addressing them. As a result of this, I started CITYARCH WONDERS, a blog where I share well researched information about urban planning, and created accounts on Academia and ResearchGate to deepen the understanding of my field of study. Today, presentations shared on these platforms have reached to approximately 6, 300 readers. However, Having known that academic success doesn’t suffice my dreams to give back to my community and that planning profession is interdisciplinary, I was involved in volunteering and social activities where I held different responsibilities and positions in African students association at my university and Rwandan community in Turkey, and it is through these experiences where I strengthened my leadership, communication, time management, decision making, conflict resolution and mediation skills and so on. In fact, striving for the community betterment has been my interest since my childhood and undertaking a career in urban planning has been an added advantage. The practical and theoretical nature of urban planning education acquired from Erciyes University equipped me with very useful skills and knowledge in Urban planning: With urban planning projects at different scales in our planning studios, coupled with various theoretical courses, I have developed a better understanding of the concept of a city in different perspectives primarily spatial analysis(SWOT Analysis), identifying problems and potentials in the city and developing a plan and blueprint of an area. In addition, I was exposed to the real world practice of urban planning in the internships that I conducted in public and private institutions in Kayseri City, where I worked on urban planning and design projects at different scales. With this knowledge and skills, I want to further my understanding of planning for Sustainable Transportation Modes and Land Use, which are focuses of the Masters of City Planning Program with a concentration on Transportation Policy and Planning at UC-Berkeley, and I believe that this program meshes well with my career goals, academic interests and past experience. In addition, being highly ranked in the US by Planetizen, pursuing my degree at one of the most prestigious, elitist and respected universities like UC-Berkeley will offer me the the chance to further enrich my knowledge and professionally outgrowth thereby contribute to the betterment of people’s quality of life in my country’s cities and the world in general. The field of Urban Planning is still infant in my country. Rwanda currently faces serious urban challenges due to high population growth. Being relatively a small country both by area and population, Rwanda is one of the least urbanised countries with an urbanisation growth rate of 3. 5%. The recent population projection shows that only 18. 4% of 11. 8 million Rwandans live in urban areas and about half of this population resides in Kigali city. As a result of this, Rwanda’s cities continue to face problems hindering the realization of sustainable development goals. Undoubtedly, It is obvious to understand that coping with these issues will require well trained people who will apply their expertise in leading the implementation of sustainable Urban Planning in the country. Therefore, after the completion of Msc in City Planning from The University of California-Berkeley, I will make the best use of skills and knowledge that I will gain to bring positive contribution to my country in the field of urban Planning through collaborating with stakeholders involved in City planning and advising institutions dealing with urban planning, so that Cities in my country grow sustainably. I will use this opportunity as a good starting point to undertake my PhD studies in Urban planning and work as academician and researcher in order to advance the planning profession in my country as well as elsewhere in the world. Moreover, I intend to work as a consultant in national and international planning institutions. Determined, ambitious, innovative and motivated; I am an energetic young person with great persistence to fulfill my responsibilities. In addition, good communication skills, ability to socialize and engagement in social and volunteering activities have truly played a great role in both my academic and personal life success and I believe these will be key elements to my thriving at the University of California-Berkeley.
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
MASTER OF CITY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PLANNING
AT UC
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
BERKELEY

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is becoming
increasingly
urbanized.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, more than half of the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
share worldwide is rising from around one third in 1950 to around two thirds in 2050. With this trend of gargantuan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
growth,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
worldwide continue to face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
of traffic congestion, poor
Possible spelling mistake found.
infrasturucture
, air pollution, unemployment, housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and poor accessibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
services, which are major threats to achieving sustainability. In respect of this, it is obvious to understand how effective and efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Planning
is one of the durable solutions to the aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
as it is a key to building liveable, safe, resilient, inclusive and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in order to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sustainable
development.

Born and raised in a rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
in the western part of Rwanda, I witnessed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
faced by my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
like food security, poverty, spatial segregation, unemployment, poor accessibility, lack of infrastructure, among others.
Knowingly
, I strove to work
diligently
on my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
since my childhood
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can be an agent of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as well
.

After successful completion of primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
where I had gained basic leadership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
acquired while acting as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
representative of Primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
grade 2, 4, 5 and 6; I
was admitted
to a competitive secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in the western part of Rwanda. At this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I held
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
leadership positions. Despite being the top of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the unforgettable moment in 2011, where all students
were promoted
and this
was achieved
for the
first
time in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school’s
history under my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
leadership.

Furthermore
, after high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
graduation, I presided over high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
graduates in my region where we
were involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
namely
building mud
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
to vulnerable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, sensitizing about malnutrition prevention and planting trees to combat soil erosion. I was
fully
committed to all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which brought a remarkable impact to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
development.

At Twenty, the realization of my long term sought goal to become an agent of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
wouldn’t have
been achieved
unless I considered the possibility to pursue my studies. It wasn’t until 2017 that I won Full Funded Turkish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
Scholarship in the major which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to
further
serve my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
on a broad scale.

While I was studying the Turkish language at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Erciyes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
, Prof. Dr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ergen
recommended that we pursue research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
that would benefit our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
upon returning from successful completion of the Turkish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
Scholarship (that I am
currently
a recipient of). I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fascinated by this symposium as it awakened my conscience about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and the steps I may take in addressing them.
As a result
of this, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
Possible spelling mistake found.
CITYARCH
WONDERS, a blog where I share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
researched information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
, and created accounts on Academia and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ResearchGate
to deepen the understanding of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of study.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, presentations shared on these platforms have reached to approximately 6, 300 readers.

However
, Having known that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
success doesn’t suffice my dreams to give back to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
profession is interdisciplinary, I
was involved
in volunteering and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
where I held
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
responsibilities and positions in African
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "students'" or "student's"?
students
association at my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and Rwandan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
in Turkey, and it is through these experiences where I strengthened my leadership, communication, time management,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
, conflict resolution and mediation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

In fact, striving for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
betterment has been my interest since my childhood and undertaking a career in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
has been an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
advantage.

The practical and theoretical nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
education acquired from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Erciyes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
equipped me with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
: With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
projects at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
scales in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
studios, coupled with various theoretical courses, I have developed a better understanding of the concept of a city in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
perspectives
primarily
spatial analysis(SWOT Analysis), identifying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and potentials in the city and developing a plan and blueprint of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
In addition
, I
was exposed
to the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
practice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
in the internships that I conducted in public and private institutions in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kayseri
City, where I worked on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
and design projects at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
scales.

With this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, I want to
further
my understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sustainable
Transportation Modes and Land
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
, which are focuses of the Masters of City
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Planning
Program with a concentration on Transportation Policy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Planning
at UC-Berkeley, and I believe that this program meshes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
with my career goals,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
interests and
Consider using "experience".
past experience
.
In addition
, being
highly
ranked in the US by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Planetizen
, pursuing my degree at one of the most prestigious, elitist and respected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
like UC-Berkeley will offer me
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
chance to
further
enrich my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
professionally
outgrowth thereby contribute to the betterment of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s quality of life in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
in general
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Planning
is
still
infant in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Rwanda
currently
faces serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
due to high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
growth. Being
relatively
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
both by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, Rwanda is one of the least
Do not mix variants of the same word ('urbanise' and 'urbanize') within a single text.
urbanised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with an
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
growth rate of 3. 5%. The recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
projection
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
18. 4% of 11. 8 million Rwandans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and about half of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
resides in Kigali city.
As a result
of this, Rwanda’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
continue to face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
hindering the realization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sustainable
development goals.

Undoubtedly
, It is obvious to understand that coping with these issues will require
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well trained
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who will apply their expertise in leading the implementation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Planning
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Therefore
, after the completion of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Msc
in City
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Planning
from The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of California-Berkeley, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
that I will gain to bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
contribution to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Planning
through collaborating with stakeholders involved in City
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
and advising institutions dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cities
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
grow
sustainably
.

I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this opportunity as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
starting point to undertake my PhD studies in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
and work as academician and researcher in order to advance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
profession in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as elsewhere in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Moreover
, I intend to work as a consultant in national and international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
institutions.

Determined, ambitious, innovative and motivated; I am an energetic young person with great persistence to fulfill my responsibilities.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, ability to socialize and engagement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and volunteering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
have
truly
played a great role in both my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
and personal life success and I believe these will be key elements to my thriving at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of California-Berkeley.
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IELTS essay Personal statement-Masters of City Planning

Essay
  American English
14 paragraphs
1158 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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