Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Personal statement for medical school

Personal statement for medical school 1AbLX
To become a doctor is not an easy job. We need a wide range of skills such as problem solving skill, decision making skill, leadership skill, communication skill and so on. However, the ambition to become a doctor is not only my passionation but also my own decision as it does not include any background force from my family. Thus why, I’m planning to apply to study in the field of Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery(MBBS). Despite knowing that studying and working in a medical field is not only tremendous and stress but also tired due to the heaps of working hours, I think I can endure those stress because saving one’s life is the most valuable and precious work for me. When I was in the final year of primary school, I was hospitalized due to snake bite which can cause death if delaying to reach the hospital. When I arrived to the hospital, an emergency team was trying to rescue me to get rid of death. However, luckily, the physician told me that the snake was non-venomous and I could rest assuredly. Moreover, last fifteen years ago, my grandfather was suffering heart disease and he died due to coronary artery disease. There was no doctor in my family and at that time, there was not many cardiac surgeons in my country. So, the doctors could not save my grandfather life. And also, nowadays most people in the world suffer and die with heart related diseases due to their habits of lifestyle. Among them, there are some people who should not die due to the lack of cardiac surgeons. Thus why, in order to save thousands of lives, I want to become a doctor, with special interest in cardiac surgery. As for skills, when I was in middle school, I participated as a scout member from Grade 5 to Grade 9. I had learned a variety of skills that a scout should have, such as communication skill, leadership skill and also first aid. And also, I had volunteered in my township society for development of our town with scout organization. But, when I was in a matriculation exam year, I only concentrated in my academic lessons to pass the exam with distinctions. Hippocrates, the father of physicians, once said that “a doctor must treat illness to the best of one’s ability, preserve a patient’s privacy, teach the secrets of medicine to next generation, so on. By comparing my abilities with Hippocratic Oath, I am quite confident that choosing this pathway will not make me regard anymore because if I become a doctor, I will treat all of my patients with my efforts and treat them equally whether rich or poor. Moreover, I am not only interested in treating and communicating with patients but also fond of teaching and sharing knowledge to my juniors. This helps me know that doctors should be able to work as a team to save one life. To conclude, the time in my primary school year after hospitalization due to snake bite reaffirmed my desire to be a doctor, and from that year later on, I tried my best not only in academic lessons but also in volunteering works to enable to enroll in medical school. So, if I become a doctor, I am looking forward to improving the country’s healthcare system and I will try all of my best to save thousands of lives in the future.
To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
is not an easy job. We need a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as problem solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, leadership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
, the ambition to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
my
Possible spelling mistake found.
passionation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decision as it does not include any background force from my family.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
why, I’m planning to apply to study in the field of Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery(
Possible spelling mistake found.
MBBS
). Despite knowing that studying and working in a medical field is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
tremendous and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
tired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the heaps of working hours, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I can endure those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
saving one’s life is the most valuable and precious work for me.

When I was in the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I
was hospitalized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to snake bite which can cause death if
The verb 'delaying' is used with the gerund form: "delaying reaching".
delaying to reach
the hospital. When I arrived to the hospital, an emergency team was trying to rescue me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of death.
However
, luckily, the physician
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that the snake was non-venomous and I could rest
assuredly
.
Moreover
, last fifteen years ago, my grandfather was suffering heart
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
disease and
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to coronary artery disease. There was no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
in my family and at that time, there was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cardiac surgeons in my country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
my grandfather life. And
also
, nowadays most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the world suffer and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
with heart related diseases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to their habits of lifestyle. Among them, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the lack of cardiac surgeons.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
why, in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, I want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
, with special interest in cardiac surgery.

As for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, when I was in middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I participated as a scout member from Grade 5 to Grade 9. I had learned a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that a scout should have, such as communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, leadership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
and
also
first
aid. And
also
, I had volunteered in my township society for development of our town with scout organization.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, when I was in a matriculation exam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
concentrated in my academic lessons to pass the exam with distinctions.

Hippocrates, the father of physicians, once said that “a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
treat illness to the best of one’s ability, preserve a patient’s privacy, teach the secrets of medicine to
next
generation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. By comparing my abilities with Hippocratic Oath, I am quite confident that choosing this pathway will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me regard anymore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
, I will treat all of my patients with my efforts and treat them
equally
whether rich or poor.
Moreover
, I am not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
interested in treating and communicating with patients
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
fond of teaching and sharing knowledge to my juniors. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
should be able to work as a team to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
one life.

To conclude
, the time in my primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
after hospitalization
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to snake bite reaffirmed my desire to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
, and from that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
later on, I tried my best not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
in academic lessons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in volunteering works to enable to enroll in medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
, I am looking forward to improving the country’s healthcare system and I will try all of my best to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the future.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Personal statement for medical school

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
575 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts