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personal statement for full time mba application

personal statement for full time mba application JwEj5
“One District One Scholarship (ODOS): One chance to change a life” That was the first thing I have seen on the Royal Thai Government Scholarship application form and had no idea that one day this would change my life as it was written. As an 18-year-old student living and studying in a rural area, accessing a good education is difficult, and also studying abroad is far beyond my dream but this scholarship aims to create opportunities and provide scholarships to high school students from all districts and sub-districts across the country to study abroad for a bachelor's degree in a country where English is not the primary language. This changed my life that among 500 candidates in my district and out of all of the 9 districts in my province I was the only one who met the qualification to be a representative of my hometown to receive a competitive full scholarship from the Government of Thailand (ODOS) for studying abroad. Surprisingly, I recently earned another chance from a Royal Thai Government Scholarship to sponsor my MBA education, allowing me to return to work at the Public-Private Partnership (PPP) and fulfilling my dreams of more developing efficient infrastructure projects in my country. I decided to study International Economics at Toyo University, Tokyo, Japan. I enrolled in an Asian Economy class and this subject allowed me to have a bird’s eye view of how Asian countries developed their economy, especially, I fascinated with how Japan’s infrastructure ranks among the world’s best. I often expressed my curiosity by discussing relevant issues with many academics and fellows both inside and outside the classrooms. It made me dream of a day when my country, especially my hometown, would upgrade its infrastructure projects such as high-speed rail trains allowing everyone in the country to live a more productive life. Besides study, I often attended an intercultural exchange programme where I was able to meet people from different countries, explore a different culture and it will help me to see things from new perspectives. I always believe that learning doesn't just happen in the classroom; meeting people from different cultures and making friends from all over the world are also important parts of growing up. After graduating, I have been working as a plan and policy analyst at State Enterprise Policy Office (SEPO), Ministry of Finance, Thailand. SEPO is an organization with an authority to supervise nationwide state owned enterprises and I am in charge of Public - Private Partnership (PPP) that give priority to infrastructure and public services consists in transportation, telecommunication, energy, irrigation, public health, and so forth. My work assures me that I am a part of an engine for the country’s development as I always dream. Since I have worked here I have a lot of responsibilities, for instance, the Kathu - Pa Tong Expressway, Phuket, Thailand - Phuket’s first expressway and it will become the first road project to allow motorbikes to use the motorways on expressway - which is valued THB 14, 177 million (GBP 324 million). This project will benefit the traffic and accident resolution when heavy rain frequently caused a travel delay, fatal and properties damage from accidents on Highway 4029which currently is the only main route that links the area from the east of Phuket to Patong Beach. The project was delayed approximately two years from the plan due to the Natural Resources and Environment Ministry has not given the approval to use its forest area. The more delayed project the more accidents happened, therefore, I decided to ask my chief to take into account this project as a priority project by playing a crucial role as a leader of the project and building up the team to follow up the project and also holding a meeting for discussing with the forestry department about taking over a small portion of this forest land to avoid disturbing local communities. As a result, the project has been given approval by PPP Commission and is expected to start in about 18 months, with the opening planned for 2026. Besides, I have had several occasions to take part in significant conferences in the country and abroad. For example, I was delegated to attend to The 2nd meeting the Public - Private Partnership Network of Asia and the Pacific by The United Nation Economic and Social Commission for Asia and the Pacific (UNESCAP) at Manila, The Philippines. Through these experiences, I could realize if we could develop infrastructure thoroughly, inequity would definitely diminish. As Thailand is a developing country, I absolutely certain that PPP will be one of the best ways to improve the economy in my country. Further, The United Kingdom is a role model in a public finance initiative especially for health care, accordingly I want to gain an understanding of financing procedures to operate public facilities because SEPO is currently submitting Medical Centre Project which is the first health care PPP in Thailand to provide outstanding health care equipment. Hence, it is necessary to learn about health care projects in UK for the purpose of public health improvement in my homeland as well as national benefits from project operation. I am confident that MBA from_____university will uniquely prepare me to help Thailand’s economy grow by building public-private partnerships to fund large infrastructure projects. At ___, courses such as ____ will strengthen my skills in leading large teams, essential when managing large-scale mega projects. I also look forward to learning from Professor Gann, who pioneered implementation of new project management approaches on mega projects in the UK such as the construction of the Olympic Park, Crossrail, and Heathrow Terminal 5. I hope to contribute my strong background in accounting and taxes, as well as various business insights from emerging countries, to Imperial Business School’s community. I am confident that my time at ____ will assist me greatly in achieving my goals and believe that___ is the perfect place for me to grow while gaining the skills I will need to impact Thailand.
“One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
District
One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scholarship
(
Possible spelling mistake found.
ODOS
): One chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life”
That was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
thing I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on the Royal Thai
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scholarship
application form and had no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that one day this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as it
was written
. As an 18-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
student living and studying in a rural area, accessing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education is difficult, and
also
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is far beyond my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
aims to create opportunities and provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarships
to high school students from all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
districts
and sub-districts across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
for a bachelor's degree in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where English is not the primary language. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that among 500 candidates in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
district
and out of
Consider using "all the".
all of the
9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
districts
in my province I was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one who met the qualification to be a representative of my hometown to receive a competitive full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
of Thailand (
Possible spelling mistake found.
ODOS
) for studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
.
Surprisingly
, I recently earned another chance from a Royal Thai
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scholarship
to sponsor my MBA education, allowing me to return to work at the Public-Private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Partnership
(PPP) and fulfilling my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dreams
of more developing efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
in my country.

I decided to study International Economics at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Toyo
University, Tokyo, Japan. I enrolled in an Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Economy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and this subject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
me to have a bird’s eye view of how Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
developed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
,
especially
, I fascinated with how Japan’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
ranks among the world’s best.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
expressed my curiosity by discussing relevant issues with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
academics and fellows both inside and outside the classrooms. It made me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
of a day when my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
especially
my hometown, would upgrade its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
such as high-speed rail trains allowing everyone in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a more productive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Besides
study, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
attended an intercultural exchange
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
where I was able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, explore a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture and it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
things from new perspectives. I always believe that learning doesn't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
happen in the classroom; meeting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and making friends from all over the world are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
parts of growing up.

After graduating, I have been working as a plan and policy analyst at State Enterprise Policy Office (
Possible spelling mistake found.
SEPO
), Ministry of Finance, Thailand.
Possible spelling mistake found.
SEPO
is an organization with an authority to supervise nationwide state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
enterprises and
I am in charge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Partnership
(PPP) that give priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
services consists in transportation, telecommunication, energy, irrigation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth. My work assures me that I am a part of an engine for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
development as I always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
. Since I have worked here I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
responsibilities,
for instance
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kathu
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Pa Tong Expressway, Phuket, Thailand
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Phuket’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
expressway and it will become the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
motorbikes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the motorways on expressway
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
which
is valued
THB 14, 177 million (GBP 324 million). This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
will benefit the traffic and accident resolution when heavy rain
frequently
caused a travel delay, fatal and properties damage from accidents on Highway 4029which
currently
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
main route that links the area from the east of Phuket to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Patong
Beach. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
was delayed
approximately two years from the plan due to the Natural Resources and Environment Ministry has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the approval to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
its forest area. The more delayed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
the more accidents happened,
therefore
, I decided to ask my chief to take into account this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
as a priority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
by playing a crucial role as a leader of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
and building up the team to follow up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
and
also
holding a meeting for discussing with the forestry department about taking over a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
portion of this forest land to avoid disturbing local communities.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
approval by PPP Commission and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
in about 18 months, with the opening planned for 2026.
Besides
, I have had several occasions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in significant conferences in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
.
For example
, I
was delegated
to attend to The 2nd meeting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Partnership
Network of Asia and the Pacific by The United Nation Economic and Social Commission for Asia and the Pacific (
Possible spelling mistake found.
UNESCAP
) at Manila, The Philippines. Through these experiences, I could realize if we could develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
thoroughly
, inequity would definitely diminish.

As Thailand is a developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, I
absolutely
certain that PPP will be one of the best ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Further
, The United Kingdom is a role model in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
finance initiative
especially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
,
accordingly
I want to gain an understanding of financing procedures to operate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake found.
SEPO
is
currently
submitting Medical
Possible spelling mistake. 'Centre' is British English.
Centre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Project
which is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
PPP in Thailand to provide outstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
equipment.
Hence
, it is necessary to learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
in UK for the purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
improvement in my homeland
as well
as national benefits from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
operation.

I am confident that MBA
In standard English, a word does not contain an underscore character (_). Make sure that the word 'from _ university' is correct.
from_____university
will
uniquely
prepare me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Thailand’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
grow by building public-private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partnerships
to fund large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
. At ___, courses such as ____ will strengthen my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in leading large teams, essential when managing large-scale mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
. I
also
look forward to learning from Professor
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gann
, who pioneered implementation of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
management approaches on mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
in the UK such as the construction of the Olympic Park,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Crossrail
, and Heathrow Terminal 5. I hope to contribute my strong background in accounting and taxes,
as well
as various business insights from emerging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, to Imperial Business School’s community.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am confident that my time at ____ will assist me
greatly
in achieving my goals and believe that___ is the perfect place for me to grow while gaining the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
I will need to impact Thailand.
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IELTS essay personal statement for full time mba application

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
1002 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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