Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

People’s weight is on the rise, while their overall health and fitness are experienced to decrease steadily

People’s weight is on the rise, while their overall health and fitness are experienced to decrease steadily eE0Mx
People’s weight is on the rise, while their overall health and fitness are experienced to decrease steadily. A poor diet coupled with a lack of exercise can be considered as the main roots of this disturbing issue. Fortunately, there are some strategies that can be implemented to combat this. Firstly, people are gaining weight due to the consumption of bad and unhealthy foods. For example, a regular meal is quite often made up by trans fats, lots of starchy carbs such as white bread or pasta, and little or nothing in terms of leafy greens. All of these have little nutritional benefit and just make the body gain extra pounds easily. A sedentary lifestyle is the second cause of this alarming reality. Many individuals work long hours during weekdays and even weekends and have no time to working out, or just simply prefer sit in front of a TV screen to relax in their free time. This inactive lifestyle, according to the latest report of World Health Organization (WHS), unfailing leads not only to an increase in weight but also to various obesity-related diseases such as diabetes or cancer, to name a few. Despite the above-mentioned causes, there are effective ways to tackle this problem. Governments and educational centers can join forces to run informative campaigns to educate citizens about the greatest benefits of eating a diet rich in veggies and fruits, and how by doing so they will see positive results in the bodies, meaning less pounds and more energy and health. Furthermore, new and well-equipped public sport facilities can be built in the communities, so that will be act like a magnet for many families, who will be attracted to working out rather than staying at home. (This paragraph needs more development) In conclusion, although there must be others reasons, eating unhealthy products and having an sedentary life definitely represents the major factors why the population is gaining weight which impacts badly on their overall health. However, governments and educators can make a positive changes by implementing wise strategies to face this problem.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
is on the rise, while their
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and fitness
are experienced
to decrease
steadily
. A poor diet coupled with a lack of exercise can
be considered
as the main roots of this disturbing issue.
Fortunately
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strategies that can
be implemented
to combat this.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
due to the consumption of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and unhealthy foods.
For example
, a regular meal is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
made up by trans fats, lots of starchy carbs such as white bread or pasta, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or nothing in terms of leafy greens. All of these have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
nutritional benefit and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the body gain extra pounds
easily
. A sedentary lifestyle is the second cause of this alarming reality.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals work long hours during weekdays and even weekends and have no time to working out, or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
simply
prefer sit in front of a TV screen to relax in their free time. This inactive lifestyle, according to the latest report of World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
Organization (WHS), unfailing leads not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to various obesity-related diseases such as diabetes or cancer, to name a few.

Despite the above-mentioned causes, there are effective ways to tackle this problem.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
and educational centers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
forces
Did you mean "running"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'force' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to run
informative campaigns to educate citizens about the greatest benefits of eating a diet rich in veggies and fruits, and how by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
results in the bodies, meaning
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun pounds is countable.
less
pounds and more energy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Furthermore
, new and well-equipped public sport facilities can
be built
in the communities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that will be act like a magnet for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families, who will
be attracted
to working out
rather
than staying at home. (This paragraph needs more development)

In conclusion
, although there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be others reasons, eating unhealthy products and having
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
sedentary life definitely represents the major factors why the population is gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
which impacts
badly
on their
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and educators can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
by implementing wise strategies to face this problem.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay People’s weight is on the rise, while their overall health and fitness are experienced to decrease steadily

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts