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People's shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People's shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factors. Gm52
Getting older humans priorities has changed around 180 degree such as purchasing. I consider that the reason lay behind making shopping unpopular activity is not only age but also some circumstances such as unhealthy physical condition or not enough funding. It is an undeniable fact that elderly age population are the less seem generation we can meet in any buying center. For example in big malls or other shopping centers kids, youngsters and adults are more enthusiastic to buy something or hanging out with acquaintances. Old people tend to buy their daily demand products but not much. On the other hand there are many people around with disabilities or have net enough money to make ends meet. These factors are also crucial and effect the daily habits of human-being. For instance, in some destinations people have no chance to do shopping every day. Overall, some factors are impact our choice of buying something we need.
Getting older humans priorities has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
around 180 degree such as purchasing. I consider that the reason lay behind making shopping unpopular activity is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
circumstances such as unhealthy physical condition or not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
funding. It is an undeniable fact that elderly age population are the less seem generation we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
in any buying center.
For example
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
malls or other shopping centers kids, youngsters and adults are more enthusiastic to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something or hanging out with acquaintances.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their daily demand products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not much.
On the other hand
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around with disabilities or have net
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
. These factors are
also
crucial and effect the daily habits of human-being.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
destinations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have no chance to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go shopping".
do shopping
every day.
Overall
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors are impact our choice of buying something we need.

IELTS essay People's shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factors.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
155 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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