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People's shopping habits depend more on the Age group seems to any other factors.is this a positive or negative development.

People's shopping habits depend more on the Age group seems to any other factors. is this a positive or negative development. 2R9Lb
Shopping is a very common thing almost everyone does it. Although many people believe that shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other reasons. I totally disagree to this statement for some reasons. My views is discussed in the essay. Out of all the arguments the strongest one to prove my statement is finance. This is because not everyone does shopping as their age group for instance some younger purchase new things every time when it is popular in market for example clothes, phones, shoes But some younger whose financial condition is not good, they decline shopping although they wanted to buy the new things. To add to this many elders who are unemployed also not purchase unnecessary things.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common thing almost

everyone does it.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
habits depend more

on the age group they belong to than any

other reasons. I
totally
disagree to this

statement for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some


reasons. My views
You should probably use: "are".
is


discussed in the essay.

Out of all the arguments the strongest one to

prove my statement is finance. This is

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not everyone does
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as

their age group
for instance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some


younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
new things every time

when it is popular in market
for example


clothes, phones, shoes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
younger

whose financial condition is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, they

decline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
although they wanted to

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the new things. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many


elders who
are unemployed
also
not

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
unnecessary things.
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IELTS essay People's shopping habits depend more on the Age group seems to any other factors. is this a positive or negative development.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
125 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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