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Some people believe that teaching school girls and boys is beneficial whereas other say that it is wastage of time for school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that teaching school girls and boys is beneficial whereas other say that it is wastage of time for school. XqkON
Learning is a life long process as it never come to an end as in this advanced era, many people believe that students must learn clinker skills in school but other dean believe that it is fully wastage of time. So this essay will eloborate both the views with my opinion. Taking one side of the argument, their are people who believe that boys and girls should be taught to learn cooking, because it is very beneficial of their life. They raise many assertion in defence such as in their modern era, every students must be given knowledge of cooking as if they would learn this skill, they would not be dependent on others in term of making foods. For instance, it very helpfull for those student who want to study abroad. Because they would be able to survive easily their and they would cook food of their own. On the flip side of an argument, there are people who beleive that the cooking is wastage of their studies in school. Moreover, they would not be able to consentrate on their study. Moving further, they have lot of burden of their studies on their mind, this skill may lead more pressure on their mind. For example, due the though competition in this modern era, students just have to focus on their study only as this skill can be thaught by their parents in their home. Nevertheless, weighing both the opinions, i belive that their is no single conclusion still i take this ground that an effective clap requires both use of hands so it varies person to person. Students it should not be compulsory to attend cooking classes in school. It should depend upon the wish of students.
Learning is a life long process as it never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
as in this advanced era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn clinker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other dean believe that it is
fully
wastage of time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this essay will
Possible spelling mistake found.
eloborate
both the views with my opinion.

Taking one side of the argument,
Did you mean "there"?
their
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who believe that boys and girls should
be taught
to learn cooking,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial of their life. They raise
Possible agreement error. The noun assertion seems to be countable; consider using: "many assertions".
many assertion
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
such as in their modern era, every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "student"?
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
knowledge of cooking as if they would learn this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, they would not be dependent on others in term of making foods.
For instance
, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
helpfull
for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
abroad.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they would be able to survive
easily
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
their and
they would cook food of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

On the flip side of an argument, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Possible spelling mistake found.
beleive
that the cooking is wastage of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in school.
Moreover
, they would not be able to
Possible spelling mistake found.
consentrate
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. Moving
further
, they have
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
burden of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
on their mind, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
may lead more pressure on their mind.
For example
, due the though competition in this modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
as this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
thaught
by their parents in their home.

Nevertheless
, weighing both the opinions, i
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that
Did you mean "there"?
their
is no single conclusion
still
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
take this ground that an effective clap requires both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of hands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it varies person to person.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
it should not be compulsory to attend cooking classes in school. It should depend upon the wish of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that teaching school girls and boys is beneficial whereas other say that it is wastage of time for school.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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