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people’s behavior is not affected by violence in the media.

people’s behavior is not affected by violence in the media. rbRel
From the author’s point of view, people’s behavior is not affected by violence in the media. The main reasons why people based on their motivations, regardless of what they watch on the television. Besides, the author mentioned that video games and television provide a safe virtual space for aggressiveness, thus people can reduce stress without injuring others. The author has never seen the connection between media violence and social violence. Most cases media violence doesn't affect people's behavior. The main reasons that contribute to the violence are personal character and the education system. Watching TV with playing games has no impact on what people do. Educated people treat others humanely. An adult person is able to divide the reality from the fantasy, so, if he has an educational and personal background there is no risk that he will imitate what he has seen. The younger, especially kids, are more inclined to copy some actions, for this reason I guess is important control what they watch. Playing games and TV programs create a harmless virtual environment. Instead of fighting in the real world, they have a virtual environment to deal with problems. The majority of individuals have no difficulty distinguishing between fiction and reality. Consumers of violent entertainment are simply passing the time or experiencing a vicarious thrill. There is even the slight chance that by watching violent entertainment, audiences will be dissuaded from such behavior or feel their need for violence has been sufficiently expressed. The author does not see the connection between violence and real-life delinquency in relation to TV programs and playing video games. In conclusion, the author’s thinks that violence in the media doesn’t affected people’s behavior. Through the article, he shows that most cases media violence is not harmful to TV viewers.
From the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author’s
point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. The main reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
based on their motivations, regardless of what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
on the television.
Besides
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
mentioned that video games and television provide a safe virtual space for aggressiveness,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
without injuring others. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
has never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
and social violence.

Most cases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
doesn't affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
. The main reasons that contribute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
are personal character and the education system. Watching TV with playing games has no impact on what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do. Educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
treat others
humanely
. An adult person is able to divide the reality from the fantasy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, if he has an educational and personal background there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
that he will imitate what he has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
. The younger,
especially
kids, are more inclined to copy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actions,
for this reason
I guess is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
control what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
. Playing games and TV programs create a harmless virtual environment.
Instead
of fighting in the real world, they have a virtual environment to deal with problems. The majority of individuals have no difficulty distinguishing between fiction and reality. Consumers of violent entertainment are
simply
passing the time or experiencing a vicarious thrill. There is even the slight chance that by watching violent entertainment, audiences will
be dissuaded
from such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
or feel their need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
has been
sufficiently
expressed. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
and real-life delinquency in relation to TV programs and playing video games.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
doesn’t
The verb 'doesn't' requires base form of this verb: "affect"
affected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
. Through the article, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that most cases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
is not harmful to TV viewers.
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IELTS essay people’s behavior is not affected by violence in the media.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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